Saturday, November 22, 2008

Rat Bastard Root Beer

This root beer is a jerk that almost demands that you drink it. Rat Bastard is one of those terms you hear on NYC cop dramas on TV or in the movies. Honestly, being from Arizona, i don't know the true implication of calling someone that, except that you mean to tell them they are a big meany and you don't like them. I can't find where Rat Bastard is bottled or how long it has been around. I would wager some where either in or near New Jersey or NYC. Again, on the bottle i am directed to visit this site, but i find it incredibly unhelpful. I am not sure what i am supposed to be looking at/for. So it's a mystery. How about i just make something up and you believe me. Ok? Here goes. Rat Bastard is bottled in Kentucky. It has been around since March.

Ok, but really, here is what i do know about Rat Bastard; it's very arbitrarily aggressive. The bottle is your typical 12 oz. dark brown glass bottle. The label has multiple funky colors and has a sloppy, hand written feel to it. It has several things written on the label that just come off like this root beer is really mad at you. I get the feeling like, "What are you lookin' at?! Just drink me, you queer!" On top of the cap, it says an insulting word not suitable for our younger readers, and under the cap it just says, "Stop putting Canadian quarters in the parking meter!" I imagine other caps have different complaints listed under them. Hey, RB... why so angry? Seriously, is the world that mean to you? Come on, lighten up. Maybe if you weren't $2 a bottle (yup, it's a pricey one) people would like you more and be more friendly to you. And to be honest, i wouldn't have even bought you if i weren't reviewing root beers. You jerk. You big bully meany jerk.

As far as taste goes, Rat Bastard isn't bad, but it's nothing new. Again, i immediately thought of Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer. They have the same distributor and refer to the same useless website (, so i imagine they come from basically the same place. It's different in that it's not nearly as strong of a nutmeg flavor as JBDR. I actually almost appreciated it more because it wasn't so overpowering. But it also lacked a lot of carbonation and it was basically flat. So that was a downer. All in all it was kind of a let down cuz it felt like i had already tried this one.

My official review is that Rat Bastard gets 5 (five) IBCs. It's not a terrible soda, but it's nothing new. I have tasted this already, and the fact that it has so little carbonation turns me off. And it doesn't help that it is just so aggressive. At least to for me it doesn't. I just don't care to be bullied around by my root beer. I get enough of that from my wife. And the final blow came when i had to pay $2 for a regular bottle of it. I just didn't think it was worth it. So i would say skip this one and get a Dad's or a JBDR instead if you want a similar taste.

1 comment:

anthony said...

it is actually made in California and has been for about 15 years i would say. at least 12 since i reviewed it that long ago.
i am not sure if i should be insulted as a proud resident of the great garden state.