Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Batch Root Beer

I've actually had this root beer before on tap but didn't review it at the time because i wasn't sure if i had already done so. Turns out, i hadn't, but i was lucky enough to discover a bottle of this back home in my fridge. Batch Root Beer is brewed in California using natural ingredients. There isn't much else i can find about the company. They have been around since 2013, but the website is very vague about any kind of origin story. Why so secretive Batch Root Beer? Why don't you tell us a little more about yourself? As i alluded to, i had this on tap at a burger joint in the Gaslamp District of San Diego called Burger Lounge. From what i remember they had a pretty tasty burger. But i don't review burgers. I leave that to the Doughboys. The root beer on tap was honestly not very memorable, so this is essentially like reviewing it for the first time. Just thought i'd throw that out there as a disclaimer, as if it mattered at all or anyone really cared about this post or anything i do with my life. And that includes my immediate family, who would prefer i simply die and leave my root beer legacy and fortune to them. Little do they know i've squandered it all betting in gambling rings of back room games of tug-of-war. I can't pick a winning team to save my life, but the rush is just too good to quit. You'd think it's gonna be the burly guys every time, but i've got a squandered fortune that proves otherwise. 

This tight-lipped root beer may not be spending money on advertising, but they don't skimp on the label design. It's a very professional and clean looking label. First off, the bottle is a standard 12 oz brown glass bottle (i'm obligated to point out that fact, simply by convention at this point) and there really isn't much else to say about it. But back to the label; this thing really sells the stuff. The logo is a rich, clean image of a top-down view of a bottle cap with the name of the soda company on it. Batch makes a variety of flavors and the label varies from flavor to flavor in color scheme as well as one other small detail. At the top of this label, it says "smooth". That descriptor at the top of the label will change with the flavor to things like, "satisfying", "clean", "tantalizing", "delicious" and others. Just a fun little extra thing they throw in.
There are a few small images of bears resembling the California state flag as well as an interesting inscription resembling something akin to the Greek alphabet or perhaps hieroglyphics. No idea what it might say or mean or why it's included at all, but i thought it was interesting enough to point out yet benign enough to not care to research any further. 

I mentioned i didn't really remember much about drinking this root beer when i had it in San Diego and now i see why that is. This root beer has a rather clean and refreshing taste of a good solid root beer, but is otherwise completely unremarkable to me. The sweetness of the cane sugar stands out in the flavor profile, but not much else. It has a very thin, watery flavor that's very forgettable. I applaud them for the effort to use natural ingredients and still make a soda that doesn't taste like absolute garbage, but this beverage ultimately falls short of anything less than mediocre when it comes to taste. Sorry Batch, but yuh just aint cuttin it. 

My official review is that Batch Root Beer gets 4 (four) IBCs. It's sad because lesser root beers have been relegated to this same score but i just can't think of a good reason to elevate this one. It's just such a nothing soda to me. I feel refreshed when i drink it, but that lack of a good solid strong flavor, good or bad, make this just on the cusp of a classic root beer. I think you need to tweak your formula a little Batch. And i know i said i'm not qualified to judge burgers the way the Doughboys would, but i'd be interested to see how Mitch can do picking out different root beers in a Wiger Challenge-esque challenge. Mitch is a bit of a wizard with these things, but it would be interesting if he could differentiate them from one another.