Friday, May 8, 2015

Hippo Size Jumbo Root Beer

Oh my lovely readers, it has been too long, and for that i apologize. I have really fallen off the root beer radar as life has overwhelmed my little Floridian family these last few months. Not an excuse, just the reality of my situation. But i want to jump back on the horse in professional fashion with a great root beer to tell you about. Hippo Size Jumbo Root Beer comes from Texas and has been around since 1927, making it one of the oldest root beers i have reviewed to date. It's currently distributed by our friends at Orca Beverages, but i picked it up from the Soda Pop Stop (which has a newly redesigned and updated site if you're interested). I did a little... ok, almost none, but a little research trying to figure out some of the history behind Hippo Size sodas. I know the Texas based line of sodas has several flavors to choose from, but it seems like a mystery the internet has not yet divuldged regarding the founding, rise, and eventual falling away and restoration of this brand of soda. Maybe it's a neat story. Maybe not. I don't really care ultimately, but i try and give that info to any of you who want to know about it. All i care about is the important stuff. Like why none of these root beer companies are trying to bribe a good review out of me. Seriously people, i have very little integrity and am easily bought.

Granted, i like the bottle. It's a stout 12 oz brown glass bottle which i have commented on previously. But i gotta say, i love the label as well. It's very simple, but very powerful. I could see myself wearing a T-shirt with this logo on it (i.e. i will also take payment in T-shirts root beer companies. VERY easily bought). I dig it a lot. It's not messing around and gets right to the point. This root beer has big taste. And it's dangerous, like a real hippo. If i've learned anything from living in Florida and owning a Disney World season pass, it's that hippos travel in groups called bloats and they kill more humans every year than sharks do. So get ready for this thing to pack a punch, and be careful. It might kill you. *Disclaimer: this root beer will likely not kill you.*

I think i showed my hand already at the beginning of this review, but to remove all ambiguity i'm gonna come right out and say that homosexuality is a sin against God. Oh, wait... wrong blog. Sorry, what i meant to say is that i really like this root beer. It has a great, classic root beer taste with a wonderful wintergreen undertone and a refreshing aftertaste (something that has been lacking in most of the root beers i have reviewed recently). It was a little lacking in carbonation, but it is flavored with cane sugar and is really enjoyable from start to finish. My son drank most of it, but that's just cuz he's 3 and loves "spicy drinks" (aka sodas). My wife agrees that this is one of the better root beers i have reviewed recently. And my daughter didn't say anything cuz a) she's a dumb girl with a small brain, and b) she's a potato. Yeah, that's right readers. I have a 3 month old daughter. Hence the long lapse in reviews. I already apologized, don't humiliate me. I named her after my friend Richard Parker whom i have referred to before in my reviews. Thats all i will tell you savages about her, so don't ask.

My official review is that Hippo Size Jumbo Root Beer gets 8 (eight) IBCs. It's a really good root beer folks. For reals, go get yourself one. The price Orca charges is a bit steep, but i wouldn't be opposed to get more than just one or two of these things if i came across them. Ordering them online might not be the right way to do that though. Shipping gets expensive. So if you find these in a store somewhere, get yourself a couple and drop me a line to know where you can get them in person. Also, drop me a line if you're interested in a healthy white baby girl for a discounted rate. These student loans are crushing me.