Sunday, November 2, 2008

My Standard: IBC Root Beer

Hello everyone, and welcome to my blog! I wrestled with this idea for a long time, and finally decided there are too many people out there to not benefit from my root beer expertise. SOOOO... i put aside my stigma that blogs are lame, even though my wife (that's right ladies... my wife, so stop calling) spends most of her day on this cursed site.
I guess the best place to start is with the best root beer known to man: IBC.

IBC stands for Independent Breweries Company, and was founded in 1919 in St. Louis. This is the standard for all the rest of the root beers i will review. Nothing can ever match up to the amazing caliber of IBC. Therefore, other root beers can only hope to be as close to awesome as IBC is. You will see that my rating system is 0 to 10 IBCs. IBC is, of course, a perfect 10, and the only perfect 10 you will see on this site. As mentioned before, others may come close, but will never achieve the same score.

IBC makes several different flavors of sodas. They are all good, but the root beer is certainly their flagship drink. It's amazing. The others merely pay homage to this incredible and historic masterpiece. If i was asked to describe the taste of it i would have to say it tastes like God's love.

Everything about this root beer is manly, although it is appropriate for girls to drink it too. I mean, just look at the bottle... the label is printed right into the glass. That's because in the old days, men used to heat the bottles up after they drank them and brand themselves with the scalding hot bottle. It was a true sign of pride and privilege. (Don't worry about checking my facts. Trust me, this one is true). It has a deep, rich taste, just the right amount of carbonation, and every bottle comes with a delicious and satisfying feeling of supporting the best beverage on the planet.

IBC and Chuck Norris actually share a common characteristic... both are known to cure cancer, though IBC must be ingested and Chuck Norris needs only look at you. Still, it's worth mentioning.

At one time the company produced and sold 32 oz. bottles, but they are near impossible to find now. If you happen to stumble upon one, buy it immediately. One day in the not so far future, IBC bottles will be used as international currency (it won't matter if root beer is in it, so feel free to drink it now), and 32 oz. bottles are like hitting the jackpot. You're welcome for that little tip.

I really can't say enough about this amazing drink. It's refreshing, sweet, satisfying, compliments any meal, perfect for root beer floats, dressing wounds, baby formula, and so on and so forth. The fastidious attention to detail IBC puts into every bottle of this sweet nectar leaves no room for error. Simply stated, it's the best, and you should count yourself fortunate for the opportunity to enjoy this miracle drink on a regular basis.


Ray said...

I don't have cancer, but I do have one of those annoying nose zits right now. Will IBC cure that?

Lafe & Bea Wiltbank said...

From personal experience IBC IS a cure-all. for the nose zit though you have to apply it directly some snorting may be required (not fun mind you).

Dick Smith said...

Didn't you save up like 150 of those 32 oz bottles and then send a pitiful whimpering request to IBC for some free stuff? They wouldn't even send you coasters as I recall. I point this out just to show that even in light of their affront on you personally, you still "cry" when you drink their product.

Whimpey Family said...

in the whimpey family rootbeer review IBC took a very close second to iron horse. it was neck an neck, but barely lost the race. but we still like you. it was angela's number 1 pick.

Simon called Andrew said...

they sell this stuff at my local walmart. When I saw it, I was reminded of your rating system. At the time I didn't know if IBC was worth 1 and you were saying all other root beers are worth 1-10 IBCs or if they were worth a fraction. So I went with Barqs to be safe. :(

Large Format Photography said...

1919 Root Beer is the real gold standard. And it's only available in kegs…how's that for manly!