Saturday, June 6, 2009

A&W Float

This one is not hard to find. I picked it up at the Pop Shop because i only had to buy one of them, but these are sold at a lot of the grocery stores in 4 or 6-packs (not sure which). The A&W Float is a drink that is part of a new line that is coming out of "float flavors". Only two flavors currently exists, but from the looks of the site, more should be soon to follow. The idea is that these flavors are combined with ice cream into an old timey float that you can enjoy on the go. Check out the site for info on the Sunkist Float, which i think would be good because it's like an orange creamsicle, the most sensual of frozen ice cream treats (in my opinion, which is the right opinion). I have seen this... for the lack of a better term, "root beer product" for a while now, but have been hesitant to review it. I am trying to maintain a site dedicated to reviewing only root beers, although i have already reviewed several i don't know if i would classify as root beer. It's interesting though, the timing of this post, because i was just about to explain how i don't review anything other than root beers when i got a request from my extremely huge fan-base to review a sarsaparilla. First of all, i don't usually interact with my fan-base. I prefer to be the all knowing, unseen genius in your eyes who chooses to disassociate myself from all of you because i am so much better than you (no offense, but it's true). So while i do appreciate comments and requests of this nature that show your loyalty, please don't expect responses to them. After all, i'm a busy guy. But as i said, that is interesting that this request should come at this time because i was just about to explain with this post how i went back and forth with this product for several months because i didn't know if it was technically a root beer. I finally decided to let it slide through because these decisions are at my discretion, and i like to treat my root beers like i am a bouncer at a club. If you're pretty enough or you slip me a few bucks under the table, i might just let you join the party. But on that note, i'm just gonna lay it down for all of you so you can know what to expect. I review root beers. Although they are close in nature, i do not review sarsaparillas, cream sodas, or diet root beers. I just want to keep the integrity of the blog, and anything that makes it onto this site has been highly scrutinized by me and found worthy to be reviewed, because to be completely honest, i don't get paid to do this (yet). I just don't want my amazing talent and fantastic discerning powers to go to waste is all. So i'm sorry, but i only do root beers. Does that make me a bad person? I mean, it's not like i blew up Megaton City or anything, and it's not that i don't like sarsaparillas and cream sodas, because i do. I just don't review them is all. I would direct anyone who's interested in sarsaparillas or creme sodas, or even diet root beers, to the Pop Shop. They have a very large selection.

This is kind of a funky bottle. It has a curvy and sensual bottle shape ("stop saying sensual"). The difference in shape only makes it an 11.5 oz. bottle instead of the typical 12 oz. The label is very fancy and colorful. I think they are trying for the old 50's style writing and advertising to give it an old fountain shop look. Lots of browns and tans, cream colors, etc. The A&W label is prominently displayed on what appears to be a sign you would see outside an old diner on the side of the road. This label definitely catches the eye, and i am sure most of you have seen this in grocery stores before because it almost jumps out at you.

I'll be honest... i don't really like this stuff. It's not bad, but it doesn't really taste like root beer at all. All i can taste is a pina colada. Weird, i know. And it's sweet. In fact, it's too sweet. Plus it is completely uncarbonated. It's almost like drinking a pina colada Sobe. There is a lot of text on the bottle, mostly the nutritional facts. There is a lot that goes into this thing, and it's not surprising that it only has a shelf life of 6 months. In other words, this is basically a step away from the "all natural" selection of root beers i just reviewed. Not sure what is in it that makes me think it's a pina colada, which is fine cuz i like pina coladas, just not in my root beer. Maybe it's the cream they use. Hmmm...

My official review is that A&W Float gets 4 (four) IBCs. It's not at all what i expected, and i am kind of disappointed that i let it slide through to be classified as a "root beer". Technically, i think it would probably be more of a cream soda, which is what held me back from reviewing it in the first place. The girl at the register of the Pop Shop said she really likes the Sunkist Float a lot better than this one. So maybe i would suggest you get your hands on one of those instead, or even better, on an ice-cold, delicious, never disappointing IBC.

Addendum: *sigh*... i hate that i even have to try and defend myself on this seeing as i assumed it was amply explained in the body of the post, but i have recently come under fire regarding my decisions about what to classify as a root beer. Here is a quick list of guidelines i follow when choosing root beers to review:

1) It's my blog and i'm a freaking expert. That's why you come to my blog.

i told you it was a quick list.

Here's what you need to know... i review root beers. If it's on my blog, i have classified it as a root beer. The historical similarities between root beer and sarsaparilla? What, did you go to root beer college or something? You think my readers care about that kind of trivial nonsense when they're just looking for a decent root beer? Really? These people are sheep, and i am merely the shepherd directing them toward great taste and away from anything made by a hippie.

Look, i can see how this can get very lengthy. All i will say is that after months of deliberation i decided to let this one slide through because it carries the A&W name and those who drink it are made to believe it is made with A&W root beer (see floats.com). We all know there are many ways to flavor a root beer (including using sarsaparilla), but if you call it a sarsaparilla, then to me it's not a root beer anymore (i have a pie chart that proves it). If there were no difference between the two drinks, i wouldn't like AJ Stephen's Root Beer and hate AJ Stephen's Sarsaparilla. And anyone who names their soda Hosmer Mountain Sarsaparilla Root Beer is clearly retarded. Stop trying to confuse people. Just pick one. (But just so you know, i would probably still review it).

And for the record, my name is Jonathan.

6 comments:

Shannon said...

Cosmo,
Thank you for responding to my comment and request, I expected it.

But you knew that.

-Shannon-

Dick Smith said...

Wow jon,
You have A fan. I think you should do whatever said fan wants so as to not loose your "base", thus causing your infantile blog to crumble and fall like a castle constructed from the poofy cheetos with no mortar, under attack from an army of overweight to slightly obese children that have been starved for two weeks. I love you.

anthony said...

curious indeed... so if it has the word "root beer" on it and is a beverage you will review it but not something that is historically the same as root beer?

so:
root beer vodka - IN
spruce beer - OUT
Health Valley Sarsaparilla Root Beer - IN
Hosmer Mountain Sarsaparilla Root Beer - IN
Hosmer Mountain Sarsaparilla - OUT

well, i you have to draw the line somewhere i suppose, the no diet seems more defensible. your call though. but you may lose your one fan. especially now that she knows your name is Jon and not Cosmo. very interesting...

Shannon said...

Cosmo and Jon,

Hmmmm... so far it's 3-Fan base, 0-Cosmo.
And now you know at least 3 people read your blog. This is good research. Thanks to me. You're welcome.

-Shannon-

gargantuace said...

The Sunkist Float is by far one of my favorite drinks, just so expensive :( Hard to beat the tast of a good 'ole brickty/brickty bar!

Shannon said...

Cosmo,
You're not under fire by your fan base. I simply asked a question and got it answered. If you don't review sarsaparillas then you don't. Your choice, as you pointed out.
And your blog will continue to come to ME. Thanks to google-reader.

yours truly
-Shannon-