Hank's Root Beer

I am really bad at keeping up on these recently, but i am also a busy boy. However, this is a review that has needed to happen for a long time. The root beer on the docket today is Hank's Gourmet Root Beer, from Philadelphia, PA. Hank's has only been around since 1996, but the company that makes Hank's has been around for over 40 now. I knew a kid named Hank in grade school. He had a flat top. And glasses. And he was kinda over weight.
... Anyway, let's talk root beer.

I like the bottle. It's not typical and has a cool shape to it. I know that's not much of a description, but that's about as good as i can do. The label is cool too. It's kind of a metallic, gold color sticker that looks like an old coin that has been found and slightly polished up. I'd say to just look at the picture, but i realize it's kind of dark and may not do the bottle and label justice very well. But it passes the test as a respectable member of the memorable root beers club (which isn't a real club, but i think you get my point). By the way, i have a Chinese professor right now for one of my classes with a thick accent, and when he says the word "member", it sounds like "man bear". And that, of course, makes me think of Manbearpig. It's very distracting during lectures.

Now, i realize it seems like i have already been talking this thing up a lot, but i don't want to give anyone the impression that this is the greatest root beer in the world. However, it's still a really good root beer. Nothing really sets it apart much from the others though. It is well carbonated and has a solid root beer flavor with some good vanilla undertones. I'm not sure what it is that makes me think this stuff is so good though. Maybe it's the packaging, the solid taste, or the way it makes me think of a chubby, flat topped grade school boy (but not like in a sexual way or anything, cuz he's not sexy at all). Well whatever it is, it's working for me.

My official review is that Hank's gets 7 (seven) IBCs. For me, a 7 is a solid rating, and i have probably had plenty of other root beers just as good as Hank's that didn't get a 7. So what makes the difference? I couldn't tell you. It's just how it has to be i guess. Maybe you can try it and give me your opinion. Perhaps it will sway my decision.

But probably not...

Cicero Salted Caramel Root Beer

So we just made a quick run to the local Rocket Fizz shop here because a buddy of mine is "on assignment"in Indianapolis right now and stopped into a Rocket Fizz there and looked over a bunch of root beers to ask if there were any i needed. I conferred with him for a bit and then decided to run down to our local shop (as mentioned) since he would have to try and pack them in his checked baggage to fly home with, and i just felt that was a bit too risky. But it was fortunate that he contacted me because Rocket Fizz did indeed have a ton of root beers that i needed. I haven't been to that shop for several years now. Last time i went was in Thousand Oaks, CA and the guy there was trying to talk me into opening a franchise of my own in Phoenix. Well apparently someone else beat me to it and it turns out that they have a pretty decent rotation. Long story short, i got 14 more root beers i don't already have, and when i brought them home and added them to the collection i have  been accumulating over the last several months/years in my fridge, i decided it was high time that i review another root beer. Probably need to pick it up in the next couple weeks/months because i have a bit of a back log and haven't posted for quite some time. So with that long and senseless preamble, lets talk about Cicero Salted Caramel Root Beer. This isn't one i picked up tonight. It's one my sister-in-law got for me somewhere in Utah, though they did have it at Rocket Fizz. This root beer comes out of Chicago, IL. Cicero Beverages has a whole line of sodas, including another "Chicago Style" root beer. If it's anything like Hank's or Goose Island, i'm sure i would like it. An interesting note, the website says it is "certified women owned". So there you go. That probably means they want it to be said with the somewhat pretentious pronunciation "care-uh-mel" instead of the common tongue's "car-mull" that we lay folk use in our informal conversations. And by "we lay folk", i mean you dummies.

This root beer comes in a brown 12 oz. glass bottle. The label shows what i assume is the iconic Chicago riverfront with the river as a delicious golden brown river of care-a-mel. My wife and i did an architecture cruise up that river many years ago and it was lovely. I've visited Chicago twice and really enjoyed myself both times. The rest of the label is well designed. It looked like an aged piece of parchment with burnt edges and bold lettering. I like it.

And they are true to their word because this stuff tasted like thick salted caramel. It really has no root beer base that i can discern at all. It's basically straight caramel, which means it's very very sweet. It's also very good. I have yet to encounter someone who doesn't like a good salted caramel. However, i really would have liked at least a small hint of root beer. They should have just called this salted caramel soda, not salted caramel root beer. Overall though, it's still a dang good soda.

My official review is that Cicero Salted Caramel Root Beer gets 7 (seven) IBCs. I like it. It's a good "root beer". My wife really enjoys Kraft traditional individually wrapped caramel cubes, and while they may not be strictly categorized as "salted caramels", this is what i think of while i drink this root beer. Again, i wish it was a bit more root beer flavored, but it's still a very good one. Definitely try one out if you get a chance.

Triple AAA Root Beer

So this root beer definitely comes from the Root Beer Store, and i have a little bit to say about that. After my last post and my realization that i was quite low on root beers to review, i decided to place an order for some new ones from the Root Beer Store. I gotta say that i'm not very satisfied with my order. First off, the root beer store is located in Washington state and i currently live in Florida, so the shipping alone was more than my order. Second, you have to order in quantities divisible by 6. Luckily, i found 11 new root beers on their site that i wanted so that meant i only had to order 1 repeat. So for an order of 12 root beers, the shipping nearly doubled the price of my total order. I realize that i am going to have to face that if i want to get access to new root beers and this is my only method of getting them, so the fact that shipping is expensive isn't really the issue. And the fact that you have to order in quantities divisible by 6 doesn't really bother me either unless the following scenario happens (which it did). I got a call the next day from someone at the Root Beer Store telling me that 3 of the root beers i ordered were out of stock. So now i am doubling up on 4 root beers unless i want to forgo getting 2 new ones and reduce my order to 6 root beers. It was a little frustrating to say the least. I know it's a petty thing to be upset about, but it's not cheap doing these mail orders, so if they don't have the root beer available i'd like to know before i commit to buying a large order like this. And as it turns out, one of the ones i had ordered was this one because i didn't realize i had it in my fridge. So i asked to sub that one out too, meaning my order of 11 new root beers was actually reduced to 7. Pretty bummed out about it. But if i was going to pay good money for mail order root beers, i wanted to make sure i got some quality stuff that i don't have direct access to here, so i had them add some Iron Horse, Goose Island, Saranac, and Hank's to my order. For those of you not hip to the root beer pecking order yet, these ones are some heavy hitters. Never disappointing. Anyway, i've ranted enough about my unpleasant experience with the RBS. Lesson learned. I will probably check out Soda Emporium first next time. No minimum order or quantity requirements there, but the shipping is still what gets you for the most part.

So let's talk about Triple AAA Root Beer. This one has been hiding in my fridge for quite some time, which is why i completely forgot about it and accidentally ordered it again this time. This root beer comes from Oklahoma City, OK and was first produced back in 1937, making it one of the oldest brands i've reviewed. The website mentions that the founders based their brand off the Texas brand Triple XXX (which i have also reviewed, but don't really remember since it was quite a while ago).

This comes in a 12 oz. brown glass bottle like any self respecting root beer would. You will see that the label has an older look to it, as i believe this is the original design used when the company first started. However, there are a few discrepancies with the label, namely that it says clearly at the top that this soda is sweetened with pure cane sugar while the ingredients list shows an absence of cane sugar in favor of high fructose corn syrup. This is likely due to the soda being out of production starting in 1974 and being revamped in 2010 (apparently with an altered recipe). There is also a website for Bricktown Candy on the label, which is the company who revitalized the brand and put it back into production as well as currently distributes it. Regardless, i like the label. It's simple, but the nostalgia it brings is a big plus.

The taste is up for debate though. I've had a rash of root beers lately that really just don't taste like root beer. This one would probably fall into that category. When i cracked it open (not a twist-off cap btw), i noticed a very sweet aroma. It's a fairly fragrant root beer, if you can call it that, but it doesn't have the typical redolence you would expect to accompany a root beer.

It smells more like candy than anything, and the taste matches. It's very sweet despite lacking pure cane sugar and has a taste reminiscent of circus peanuts or chicks and rabbits easter candy (which my wife insists taste different from each other, but they are the same thing and are both disgusting and shameful). Those things that dissolve in your mouth and make you pray for death have no place in a root beer. My wife agrees, and she actually LIKES those candies. That all being said, this isn't a terrible root beer. Sure, it doesn't taste like root beer, but it also doesn't taste like genocide. I can finish a bottle without wanting to smash said bottle and impale myself with the broken base afterward.

My official review is that Triple AAA gets 4 (four) IBCs. It's better than the last root beer i reviewed, but that was a pretty small mountain to scale. I think i've said enough about this root beer, so i'll just end with a story from when i was in high school and dated a girl who… let's just say "lacked virtue". Anyway, it was a short lived relationship and when it ended my friends and i stuck circus peanuts on the outside of her bedroom window. Mostly because they lend themselves to a certain shape. Was it a stupid thing? Of course, as were most things i did in high school. But i still don't regret it.