Sunday, August 10, 2014

Zippy's Giant Root Beer

This root beer is tied to a burger joint in West Seattle, WA and has been around since 2008. Zippy's Giant Root Beer is made and sold at a place called Zippy's Giant Burgers and is distributed by Orca Beverages, which is also located in the northwest and distributes several sodas and root beers that i have reviewed. I know i said it's in West Seattle, but the bottle says "Wesseattle", which i tried to do a little research on and couldn't come up with much. I assumed it's just a region of Seattle, specifically in the western part of the city. But i talked to someone who lived there and she hadn't heard of it before. Even the source of all truth is stumped by this one. Maybe my root beer comrade Eric can give us some first hand info since he's from that area.

So, the label. In a word… creepy. There are a lot of colors and a picture of a kid holding a burger and drinking a mug of root beer. The freakish cartoon image of the kid licking his/her lips is unsettling at best. It reminds me of every creepy/scary toy doll movie from the 80s. The color scheme and frightening imagery definitely catch the eye, but if i weren't reviewing this for the purpose scientific discovery and a general civil obligation to provide reliable information regarding the appropriateness of root beers to the public, i doubt i would think this was worth drinking based on looks alone. I mean, seriously… this kid is freakin' me out with his/her huge sunken eyes, piggy nose and weird mouth. Come on Zippy's, hire a new artist at the very least. You're not doing yourself any favors here.

I can't comment on Zippy's burgers, but as far as the root beer is concerned i doubt i would make a visit to the restaurant. It's really watered down, low carbonation, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It is sweetened with cane sugar and has a slight creamy vanilla undertone, but ultimately disappoints on multiple levels. I didn't hate it while i drank it, but the aftertaste is really making me hate it now. My wife said she didn't drink enough to formulate an opinion (not like it would matter anyway since she is untrained in root beer expertise). My son seemed to like it, but he's not even 3 years old yet and likes any soda, which he calls a "spicy drink". So his opinion is unreliable as well. Looks like mine is the only one that counts (as always), and i say this one is no good.

My official review is that Zippy's Giant Root Beer gets 4 (four) IBCs. It's not great and seemingly gets worse the more you drink it. I'm not opposed to going to Zippy's if i am ever in Wesseatle and maybe i would try it again at that time. Maybe a fresh batch would taste better. But that's probably the only circumstance that would lead me to trying this stuff again. Sorry Zippy's.

1 comment:

KC Angel said...

HAHAHAHA!!!
Thanks for the glowing review of my artwork.
I'll be sure to include it in my Bio.

Sorry you didn't enjoy the root beer either,

but you know what they say about opinions.

Cheers, KC Angel
"Artist at your Service"