Zia Root Beer

From Aug 2000 to Aug 2002 I lived in Ontario, Canada while serving a mission for the church I was raised in. I was in my early 20’s at the time and for a 9 month stretch I lived in a medium sized city called Burlington right on the shores of not-so-beautiful Lake Ontario. Our days consisted of a pretty regimented schedule of tasks and duties, one of our mandates being to provide service to the communities we were placed in for a few hours a week. We did service for individuals and organizations in a number of different ways, including visiting elderly people and assisting in nursing homes, volunteering at food banks and blood donation centers, a lot of cleaning and organizing of personal homes and storage spaces, and being in Canada we did a fair share of snow shoveling. But one of the most memorable people we provided service for was a man named Hassan. At the time he seemed so much older to me but he was probably only in his mid 50s at the time. He was an immigrant from an Arab nation, I don’t remember which, who had grown children but lived alone and was basically house bound. He stayed in his small apartment on the top floor of a 3-story walkup and I don’t recall ever seeing him go outside at all. I don’t even think he had a TV, though he may have had one in his bedroom. When we were in his apartment he would just sit in his chair and chain smoke while we talked. I image it was that way when we were not there as well. We would do simple things for him, like collect his mail and run small errands. When he discovered I had my own set of hair clippers he requested that I begin cutting his hair at regular intervals, and by cut his hair I mean he just wanted me to buzz his head. English was his second language, if not third or fourth, and he didn’t have a very good grasp of it. He called me Krumy-nicker, a phonetic spelling of the way he would say my last name (hint: roll the “r” at the beginning for the authentic experience). He would endearingly refer to my set of hair clippers simply as “the machine”, and I still find it endlessly amusing when he would ask for a haircut on our next visit by simply saying, “Krumy-nicker, can you bring the machine?”. Grocery shopping for Hassan was always the same. He would send us to get 1-2 loaves of processed white bread and a case of Pepsi from the basic grocery store down the road. Additionally, he would send us to a small shop in a strip mall which sold halal foods. We would present a piece of paper with his order to the person at the counter and they would hand us back a clear bag containing what I can only describe as a few lumps of sweaty cheese soaking in brine and filth. That’s all this guy ate, ever. He once asked me to go get him cigarettes, and when I told him we wouldn’t buy those for him it was the only time I saw him get upset with us. But it passed quickly and he was generally grateful for our visits and our help and we developed a nice relationship with him. Three times I thought I may be transferred from that area to another town and each time I told him he broke into tears, including the time I really did get transferred. He would give me a big embrace at the end of our visits and would tell me, “Krumy-nicker… I love you too much.” I will always remember him and the strange but comfortable relationship we had together. I respected him and he appreciated us. I heard he had passed away a few years after I had come back home, which was 20 years ago this August.

That story really has nothing to do with the root beer I am reviewing today. I just figured it needed to be written down somewhere so I don’t forget it. But like Hassan, I was a stranger in a not-so-strange land when I tried Zia Root Beer. My wife (and kids) presented this root beer to me on Father’s Day this year while stopping at my in-laws house in West Jordan, UT on our way up to Bear Lake, ID for a family reunion. She said she picked it up at the local Smith’s grocery store there, though the bottle says this root beer hails from New Mexico. The very visually pleasing label is adorned with several Native American symbols common to the New Mexico region. Zia Root Beer is just one of several, uh… unique flavors offered by the Zia Beverage Co. using ingredients local to the area, like prickly pear cactus and piñon nuts. In fact, the root beer flavor is steeped with ingredients like yucca root, anise, mint and cloves. Sounds delicious, right? Hold on to that thought while we dig in a little more.

What exactly is yucca root? Turns out it’s basically a type of potato. Does it make for a good flavor in a “root” beer? In my expert opinion, the answer is a hard no. 

Though the initial crack of the cap released a fairly pleasant aroma of root beer, the flavor was heavy on the anise/licorice, heavy on a Necco wafer taste (but only the bad ones), and lacks almost any actual traditional root beer flavor. The ingredients say this also contains vanilla but I wouldn’t have been able to tell you that. Additionally, it was nearly flat but still packed a little sting in my mouth that was neither irritating nor satisfying. They use natural cane sugar to sweeten it and I get small hints of mint that I had to search for after reading the list of ingredients. Overall though, it just tastes bad. Someone more familiar with the root may simply say this root beer tastes like yucca, to which I reply, “you can say that again.” This stuff is yucca for sure. 

My official review is that Zia Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. I like the label and the idea of the fun and funky regional flavors, but just because it’s called a yucca root does not mean it translates into a root beer. Overall the taste in my mouth just feels dirty, even a little gritty. Perhaps those yucca roots need to be washed a little more before throwing them into the brew. So the score is mainly based off the originality and the fun label doing the heavy lifting because the flavor just aint bringin it. My suggestion would be that if you are dead set on using yucca you might need to find some more complimentary secondary ingredients. Dial back the clove, dial back the licorice and find a way to make this something I would ever consider getting again because as it stands now this is a one and done situation. 

Schilo's Root Beer

 

A friend of mine is working as a travel nurse right now and picked up this root beer for me in San Antonio, TX from a little restaurant called Schilo's Delicatessen. The story of Schilo's includes pivoting from serving alcohol to brewing root beer when Prohibition went into affect. Schilo's has been operating as a restaurant since 1917, and this root beer was a big seller for them when they could no longer sell alcohol. The label even proclaims that this is Prohibition's Most Popular Drink. I think my friend had to visit the restaurant to get this drink, but i could be mistaken. He may have just gotten it from one of the local grocery stores. 

The label is very colorful and eye catching. I like the picture of the founder, Fritz Schilo, a proud German immigrant who first opened a saloon and then later converted to a delicatessen when he could no longer serve alcohol. They use simple ingredients, including cane sugar. Just taking the cap off produced some impressive head inside the bottle. And the creamy aroma is very inviting. But as for taste this one is a little lack luster for me. The flavor is quite thin, which isn't in and of itself a unique profile, but i would have expected a flavor like this from a generic or grocery store line of root beer. And it reminds me a bit of (dare i say) Weinhard's in that there is a subtle candy corn aftertaste. Still, i am not entirely turned off by it. It is smooth and creamy and overall i can say it was enjoyable. 

My official review is that Schilo's Root Beer gets 6 (six) IBCs. I like this one well enough. It stands above the common generic root beer out there, but i don't think it has a bold or strong enough flavor to join the upper ranks of root beers. So check it out if you're in the area and are looking for an historical taste of early 20th century Texan cuisine. 

Note: i cannot speak for the food at all, so take that with a grain of salt.  

Chumlee Root Beer

 

I once worked at a job i didn't like for 9 years. During that time i was mostly sitting in a low rise cube, staring at a computer screen and answering phone calls, and occasionally responding to emails. It was a means to an end while i was going to school, probably around 2005 or 2006. The company i worked for was expanding and growing like crazy. There was a lot of turnover at that job, constantly cycling through new people. So every once in a while there would be a corporate wide email sent out to which people would reply-all and everyone in the company would get inane comments from random (often new) people regarding equally inane topics and subjects. One such occasion one of these emails went out and sparked a chain of people replying all telling everyone else to stop replying all. I typically stayed out of these exchanges as they merit nothing. Just a bunch of dummies saying "remove me from this list" and "everyone can see your response, stop replying all". But for whatever reason, probably boredom ultimately, i decided to reply to this chain. And not just reply, i intentionally did what everyone else said not to do and hit the reply-all button. I didn't say anything crass or insulting or directed at any one person or group individually. All i said was, "I like mac and cheese. There, i said it." The email storm that erupted after this was neither foreseen nor warranted. Tons of others followed suit by replying with random and non-germane responses that went to everyone in the corporation. Many people replied to me directly, laughing and saying it was really funny (which it wasn't really). Some asked if i realized this went out to the whole company, to which i responded individually and said, "look... i like mac and cheese and i don't care who knows it." Most of it was in a spirit of fun and good will, something this job lacked in spades. Outside of that i did nothing to further the chaos or provoke or incite more email insanity. But one person responded to me directly and told me i would be reported for wasting company resources. And guess what, i was reported. And i was pulled into a room and disciplined by my corporate overlords and formally written up with my first warning. That response to my harmless and playful, albeit inappropriately timed little escapade was completely unwarranted. I was singled out as an instigator when the storm was already happening, i just added some levity to the situation. But the backlash i got did not fit the crime in my opinion. Which is the opinion i have about this root beer. This is a completely unnecessary root beer. Chumlee Root Beer is another of the novelty root beers put out by Rocket Fizz where i found this. For the uninitiated, Chumlee is the name of a guy on the reality TV show Pawn Stars. I don't know anything else about the show, just that it is on TV and people sell their stuff to the pawn shop and Chumlee is one of the people working in the pawn shop. I know nothing more and i want to know nothing more because i don't watch shows of people doing their jobs. Oh, and apparently this guy is stupid wealthy now. That's all i know. Oh, and it's on the History channel, cuz... well, i don't know but it makes me lose a lot of respect for the History channel. 

Anyway, this is backed by/distributed by Rocket Fizz meaning they have a professional operation. The label is very colorful and depicts Chumlee with arms spread wide in the crucifix position with a big smile and the invocation to "Be Awesome". Maybe that's something he says on the show or something. Again, i don't know cuz i don't watch it. It's an eye-catching label based on how colorful and sparkly it is alone, but outside of that there is nothing to distinguish this root beer from any other. And just like the rest of these novelty root beers from Rocket Fizz, it tastes just the same and that taste is not very good. It's a cheap generic knockoff root beer they bottle and slap various labels on to be silly or funny and appeal to a more wide audience of passers-by. No one is seeking this root beer out, that I'm sure of. If you go to someones house and they have even more than one of these in their fridge then you need to evaluate your relationship with that person. The root beer flavor is very faint, basic and barely there. The aftertaste is downright offensive. And the overall conceit of this root beer is motivated by making money. There is no love in this endeavor. I doubt they even have to license Chumlee's likeness for this because if they did it wouldn't be worth it. This stuff is less than average. It is the definition of sub-par.

My official review is that Chumlee Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. I initially gave this a 4 but in re-evaluating i am dropping it to a 3. Avoid this stuff unless... well, there is not really a good reason not to avoid this one in my mind. It's not so disgusting as to make me gag or not finish the bottle, but it's not good by any stretch of the imagination and i see no reason to reach for another one of these in the future. To plus it up a bit my kids and i "enjoyed" making root beer floats with equally bland Kroger brand vanilla ice cream. And you know what, it makes a decent float, but i think you have to intentionally try and ruin a root beer float to make it not good. So just like Chumlee himself, i will be going back to knowing nothing about this root beer. 

O-Zell Root Beer

 

Wow... it's been a long time and i can't believe it's taken me this long to finally review this one (sorry, let's just get right to it this time though). I've come across O-Zell several times and from multiple vendors. Though not mainstream enough to show up in most grocery stores (at least not in my region), this is a fairly common root beer to encounter when visiting different boutique soda or vintage candy stores. So I've actually had this in my fridge for... well, years at this point. I don't remember when i picked it up or where but i've seen this one in my encounters in several stores in several states. Yet i knew nothing about it until now. Honestly i am more shocked it's not more popular if only for the fact that O-Zell Soda Co. was established in 1912 and an early investor was Elias Disney, the father of none other than Walt and Roy Disney. Wait, WHAT? You're telling me this has the full backing of the Disney Corporation and it's not absolutely dominating the soda frontier with a brutal competitive edge? I have strong feelings about the Disney Corporation, from as benign and annoying as how they raise their prices every year and continually gouge the consumer when they rival Apple, Google and Netflix in the corporate environment, to the more sinister like how Disney, Coca-cola and McDonald's form the triumvirate of evil by acquiring wealth, property, influence and power with aims on nothing short of WORLD DOMINATION. I'm telling you... keep your eye on them. And the worst part is as much as i detest going to their parks and buying their merchandise and seeing their movies, i do it. Mostly for my kids and my wife, but partially for me too. And that's the hardest part really. I'm giving my money to a behemoth who both doesn't need it and will never even really understand it but just keeps requiring it from me and everyone else on the planet. A company that big and influential is grotesque. But i'm gonna keep funding it and getting minimal entertainment, maximum guilt and (luckily) some decent family memories in return. 

Anyway, back to O-Zell, why isn't this soda everywhere? I don't think it's even in Disney parks, is it? The company was founded in Silver Lake, CA, but it has ties to Chicago, IL if only by the means of funding the restoration and preservation of the childhood home of Walt and Roy Disney. The illustrated story is on the website, complete with heroes and villains, for those who want to read it. The website and label seem fairly professional and not the cheapest option. The cartoon depiction of Elias Disney graces the bottom of the label. The label and website say they use all natural flavors, like Hawaiian sugar cane. And honestly, it doesn't taste bad. It's actually pretty good. So they have a decent product, a professional operation, an inexhaustible financial backing and even the borrowed good will of most of the planet by association alone. So again... why isn't this stuff synonymous with water? It just makes me wonder if they really do have those kinds of resources and cachet, or maybe the management of this branch isn't subject to the same corporate edict of nothing less than ruthlessly and absolutely crushing all competition. 

The taste is a bit thin, but it isn't unpleasant. That sounds like i'm trying to not say i like this stuff. Truthfully, i don't really. But it's not terrible. I would say it's better than most. It doesn't have a "natural" soda taste, which is good, and i doubt they strive to be a healthy alternative. But the creamy root beer flavor, though thin, is pretty decent for a craft soda. The taste doesn't last long and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but it's enjoyable. My kids both liked it as well, which seems like the target audience if they lean the same way as their corporate masters. So overall i'd say... not too bad.

My official review is that O-Zell Root Beer gets 6 (six) IBCs. This is a good root beer, but it's not in 7 territory. I'd say 6.5 if i did non-integer ratings. But i don't. So it's a 6 (yeah, i rounded down but i think they will be ok). Look, does this soda have any real ties to the Disney Corporation? Probably not. So i am gonna look for it the next time i visit one of the parks with my family. That will be the real tell to know if this stuff is really affiliated with Disney or just part of the corporate machine trying to syphon off of Disney's success. And that's probably the only thing worse than Disney itself. 

Olipop Classic Root Beer

 

I'm in the stage of my life where my weight yo-yo's in about a 10 lb range, and sadly i'm not about to just love and accept myself just the way i am so i am frequently trying fad diets and starting and subsequently abandoning exercise regimens. Well i'm currently in one of those phases. I recently (like, a couple days ago) decided i am going to cut sugar and carbs out of my diet to try and shed a few lbs. So when it comes to root beer reviews, i selected one that doesn't have sugar (or at least not much sugar). And as we all know, root beers in that category are often considered "natural" sodas, which translated means flavorless and/or gross. Well this is one of those kinds of root beers. My wife fittingly discovered this at our local Sprouts grocery store and picked up a can for me cuz she's a nice lady and supports this stupid hobby of mine. Olipop is the latest to jump on the trend of "healthy" sodas with a lineup of 6 different flavors. Also, you'll notice that Olipop spelled backward is Popilo. This has absolutely no significance that i am aware of but it seems like it should, doesn't it? The can says this was manufactured in Oakland, CA but i don't know how long Olipop has been around. The website states the mission of this soda is not only to get away from overloading your diet with sugar but also promoting a healthy gut biome, which is why these sodas have probiotics, botanicals and plant fibers to help promote good digestive health. So where will i steer this review you ask? Exactly where you think i will. But first...

My wife found this in a 12 oz can. I don't know if they have any other vessels of commerce that they distribute this soda in but the design is simple, somewhat neo-retro, and clean. It's typical of the aesthetic of most home renovation Instagram posts these days. It's certainly not the worst design i've seen. Very cute and inviting. But just like all the other natural, healthy root beers i have tried, this stuff is barely a root beer. I was actually pleasantly surprised and given a sense of hope by the aroma of root beer when i cracked the can, but then was immediately returned to taste jail upon drinking it. I mean... what else can i say that i haven't said about the others? It's completely flat, mostly water flavored and has a hint of plant residue and dirty utensils. You can really taste the nature. No semblance of root beer flavor whatsoever. But, at least it's healthy and doesn't have sugar in it. And maybe it will also give me a comfortable and successful movement later. 

My official review is that Olipop Classic Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. Honestly, that's a generous score, but i will say in Olipop's favor that this stuff isn't completely undrinkable. The after-aftertaste is actually where you get some of the root beer notes, but it has to sit on your tongue for a good long bit before it gives you any real flavor profile. This stuff is not for me, but i knew that going in so i am not being very harsh on Olipop. The deck was stacked against them from the start. So while this score may feel like i am taking a crap on Olipop i have the feeling they will return the favor when i rocket diarrhea into my pants during work tomorrow. And all i can say about that is it wouldn't be the first time.

Pearson Bros./Bull's Head

I would describe my child self as a trouble maker. I wouldn't call myself a rule breaker, though i often broke the rules. I just liked to mix it up, but i also knew my limits. I did some unlawful things, but nothing so serious that would land me in real trouble with law enforcement. However, one of the "serious" times i had an interaction with police as a youth was when i was 15 years old. I was living with my aunt at the time. She had dropped me and my cousin off in a shopping plaza with some other neighborhood kids so we could buy some CDs. We first went into the local Target to peruse the selection. Not finding anything to our liking, we left the store and walked down a few stores to the local Circuit City. Now, for those of you born after 1995, Circuit City was an electronics store similar to Best Buy that went out of business (which is where Best Buy is headed as well). We looked at the CDs there and decided we were not going to get anything, so we went back to the Target and stood outside waiting for my aunt to come pick us up. While standing outside Target, we were approached by a police officer on a bicycle. He asked us if we had been inside the Target. We told him yes we looked for some CDs before going down to Circuit City. He asked if we used the payphone inside. We told him no. Now, for those of you born after 1995, payphones were devices set up by the telephone companies around town, like in stores and on street corners, where one could place a phone call for approximately $0.25. They were like really big stationary cell phones, but they didn't have a screen or access to the internet. Oh, and also, CDs were "compact disc's" that we used to listen to music. Ask your dad about them. Anyway, we told the officer we were just waiting for our ride to come pick us up. He took down our names and the phone number for my aunt as she was our ride. He then asked us to follow him. We walked back into the Target over to the payphones. He said he had a complaint that someone had called 911 using the payphone (a free call) and then hung up. He asked again if we used the payphones. We again told him no. He then proceeded to accuse us of lying and said he knows we did. I became obstinate and continued to deny doing anything wrong because we didn't. He called over an employee, a young girl probably not much older than us, and asked her if we were the kids who had called 911. She gave us each a quick glance and said, "i don't know, i didn't see who it was." He thanked her and she walked away. 

He then turned to us and said, "there you go, positive identity." 

"Positive identity?!" i balked, shocked at the accusation, "she just said she didn't see the people who did it. How is that positive identity?!" 

"I can get someone down here to dust for fingerprints if we need", he said while staring all his attention on me.

"Go ahead then, call them up," i replied, "we didn't use the phones."

"That's all they do," he shot back, squaring up to me to intimidate me, "they just drive around all day waiting for us to call them to a scene."

"Then get them down here. We have nothing to hide."

We stared at each other for a few seconds. He then said, "wait here," and walked away. We didn't see him again. My aunt arrived about 10 minutes later and said she had been called by a police officer who said we made a prank call to 911. But he didn't stick around to talk to her or follow up with anything. He just left. 

That interaction taught me that it is important to get a good understanding of the situation before acting like you know what you're talking about. That officer was completely out of his depth. But instead of trying to get the facts straight he just started making wild accusations hoping one of us would crack. I don't want to be like that, but i am having a hard time with this root beer. It has a confusing history. It's been around since 1896, which is a long time to be in business. But when you visit the website, it says the name of the root beer is Bull's Head, not Pearson Bros. I think it started as Bull's Head but i have no idea how or when or why Pearson Bros. got put into the equation and/or why they needed to change the name on the label. It seems like the name change may just be for the U.S. distribution because i think it's still called Bull's Head in Canada. There were several breaks in production and buying and selling of rights by multiple parties. It's all very confusing. The label also says it's made in Canada where it originated, but the label also says it is bottled in Vermont. This root beer is living a double life. And if i can't get a straight answer i'm gonna call down someone to take some fingerprints so we can get to the bottom of this. 

I have a few people working on my behalf to find root beers for me, so this a quick shout out to my buddy Kyle who picked this up for me at a local Cracker Barrel restaurant in the gift shop. I like the bottle. It looks like it's a medicine bottle from the 1800's. The label is good too. Lots of fun imagery and it really embodies the time it is trying to recreate. But if this is what root beers tasted like in 1896, then no thanks. This stuff is lifeless. The sniff test resulted in nothing and the taste test wasn't much better. It's like lightly carbonated, slightly sweet brown water. It's sweetened with cane sugar and the label calls it "natural", but it doesn't have a very earthy or natural taste to it, which actually works in its favour (<-- Canadian spelling). It's not putrid or acrid, but it's not pleasurable in the least. Even my children were unimpressed, and they are just a couple dumb kids who want to drink anything carbonated. Are you listening Bull's Head? This doesn't even appeal to children. 

My official review is that Pearson Bros./Bull's Head gets 3 (three) IBCs. Honestly, a 3 is generous. Probably should be a 2 but it's not so completely off-putting that i want to spit it out. What is this stuff called? Where is it from? What is it supposed to taste like? I can't get the facts straight and i certainly won't be drinking this stuff again. But for all the things i don't know about this root beer, i do know one thing; it's not good. Now that's positive identity. 

Frost Creek Root Beer

Geez... this feels kinda awkward. But what can i say? it's been a busy year. We sold our house and bought a new one and have been slowly fixing it up over the past year. And amidst all that craziness, my son broke his nose at school last year, a good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer in January and has been undergoing chemo, and other various events have really made this a memorable year. And while i've been thinking for a while that i need to post, in large part because i have a backlog growing in my fridge, i just have the nagging feeling that i need to keep doing this. I tell myself it's not worth it but i enjoy it. It's a nice little hobby, one that i started at a time in my life when i was a young newlywed, a childless student working full time and just trying to get myself set up for what would be my new future. I had a few close friends when i started this blog. Friends from high school and college roommates, all in the same stage of life with similar backgrounds and experiences, and i would share my root beers and reviews with them. And one of those friends passed away last week. He took his own life 2 days before his 40th birthday, leaving behind a wife and 4 young children. It was a really tragic thing that happened, and sadly we had grown apart in recent years. I don't think i had even talked to him in close to 3 years. As a young couple, we moved away to Florida with our toddler son while he took his small family up to Portland to finish pharmacy school and then up to Alaska once he graduated. I loved him like a brother at times, but to be truthful we had a difficult friendship. To paraphrase another friend of ours, we had really high highs and really low lows. Part of growing apart over the years was my intentional choice. It's difficult to say like this but it's true. I'm not proud of it, and now that's how we'll end i suppose. I figured it may be that way but i just figured it would be a long time from now. While his passing obviously saddens me, I mourn for his children most, but i have comfort knowing his family will be taken care of. And i hope he has some relief from his pain now. In summary, i wouldn't say this is the main thing making me want to finally make a new post, but it definitely contributed. 

Also, have you guys heard of this thing called the coronavirus? Pretty wild. 

Frost Creek Root Beer is brewed by Frost Creek Beverages and is one of the flavors in their lineup of craft sodas. The company operates out of Carrollton, TX and has been in business since 2014. I don't know if i want to keep giving a summary of the company/root beer story and history anymore. I figured if people are interested they can go to the website and look it up themselves. Oh, and i also didn't read it. Gotta ease back into this.

The label is very plain but i like it a lot. It's a nice glossy sticker label that has some flair to it. A simple color scheme and stylized company logo make up the bulk of the label. The company uses pure cane sugar and other natural ingredients common to craft sodas. I detect a hint of wintergreen, but it mostly just has a nice mellow classic root beer flavor. This was a welcome return to posting reviews. My wife procured a 12 pack of this root beer by mail as a gift for Father's Day this year and my kids and wife and i have been enjoying them slowly over the last couple weeks. I enjoy the subtle bite in the aftertaste. It's a nice drink.

My official review is that Frost Creek Root Beer gets 7 (seven) IBCs. I really enjoyed this one. It was a contender for 8 IBCs, but i don't think it's quite there yet. Regardless though, this stuff is a pleasure to drink and well worth the purchase if you get a chance. They operate out of Texas, the same state as IBC, and after thinking about this whole endeavor over this last year i gotta share that i've been a little disappointed with IBC lately. I don't love the recipe change and the cost cutting on the bottles. You're on notice IBC. Straighten up or a young upstart like this may take your place.