Poppi Root Beer

North Korea. I’m fascinated with it. Dare I say, I love it. I’ve watched at least a half dozen documentaries about it, I read a book (humble brag), and I’ve listened to several interviews of people who underwent immense physical, financial and emotional hardship to escape what is dubbed “the Hermit Kingdom”. I’m not in any position of authority nor do I possess an intellectual high ground enough to instruct or inform anyone about else the specific goings-on of this extremely cloistered country, but man… it’s crazy to think of what is happening there and how no one really pays attention to it at all. The level of brain washing and control that government there has over it’s citizens is astounding. The way they treat their citizens and inflict suffering on millions of people who just so happened to be born in that spot of the Earth routinely violates international criminal law. Yet here in America, the chief target of all North Korea’s ire, we hardly care about them at all. For all the thought and energy they put into demonizing the USA you would think we would return the favor. For example, one interview I listened to said that in grade school, math text books routinely contain word problems such as, “if you have 18 American bastards in prison and you kill 6 of them, how many American bastards are left?” People talk about the horrors of World War II, the concentration camps of the Holocaust, the injustice our early nation inflicted on African slaves for well over 100 years, all as things that we are glad are in our rearview but with which we still grapple with the ramifications. Well all these things are still happening, right now, right this very moment in North Korea. And we don’t care. It’s wild. 

This is a picture of the North Korean flag. I have a t-shirt with this flag on it. It’s a bit of a sick joke from my wife as she gave it to me for Christmas one year because she knows about my obsession. And as I opened it in front of my family and held it up, my dad, an 82-year-old veteran of the Vietnam War who lost his own father in WWII, exclaimed, “oh cool, Captain America.” I wear this shirt on the 4^th of July and no one says anything to me. They just think I fit right in with all the other people dressed in patriot garb. I have a job working in a close relationship with the Department of Defense for our government and I wear this shirt to work and I’ve never once been asked about it or even gotten a sideways look regarding it. And even if I shouted “I’m wearing a shirt of the flag of North Korea, the sworn enemy of our nation” I doubt anyone would even take notice. Or they might say “I thought Russia was our sworn enemy”, or something like that. We just don’t care North Korea and I can’t understand why. It’s so fascinating to me. 

Well here’s something else we don’t care about; Poppi Root Beer. Poppi Soda was started in Austin, TX by a husband and wife duo and has a line of about a baker’s dozen of different flavors (as of the time I am writing this). The flavors are mostly fruit or fruit medleys but they do have a classic cola as well as a root beer, which is the only reason I’ve picked one of these up. I’ve seen these things all over the place in basically any grocery store as they are aggressively expanding into the “healthy” soda market. Yes, this is another one of the healthy sodas out there, loaded with natural sweeteners, probiotics to promote good gut health, and are low calorie and low sugar. And as you’ve probably guessed by now, this is why I think these are bad. I’ve tried to soften my response to these “better for you” sodas, as the side of the can says, and genuinely wish this company well for trying something new and different. But nothing about the way this tastes makes me think it’s worth trying any of the other flavors also. 

I don’t recall where I got this soda but as can be seen in the picture above I got it in a 12 oz aluminum can. The label is fairly uninspiring compared to a lot of the other colorful cans for the fruity flavors they offer. It fits right in with the routine color pallet of most generic root beers out there. I will give them credit for trying to be environmentally conscious as I think you can only get these in aluminum cans that are 100% recyclable, so for reals kudos for that. The taste is quite uninspiring, which matches the aroma when you crack the can open. Some of the main ingredients the website wants you to be sure to know about are the agave inulin (key to the aforementioned prebiotics), apple cider vinegar (which you can totally taste), and stevia as a natural sweetener. But really, I don’t find much if any root beer flavor to this at all. Outside the hint of apple cider vinegar flavor, it’s just really watery, not really sweet, and… well I’m struggling to say anything else about it other than “no thanks”. As I’ve said with all the other “healthy”, or in this case “better for you” sodas out there, if you don’t want to drink soda because it’s unhealthy, then just don’t drink soda. 

My official review is that Poppi Root Beer gets 2 (two) IBCs. This one was doomed from the start. As far as I’m concerned, healthy sodas have no place in this world. Good for them trying to promote good gut health, I guess, and perhaps the fruity flavors are more inspiring and easier and fun to drink than this was. But as far as I am concerned I will just keep ignoring this when I see it in the grocery store the same way everyone in America keeps ignoring that insane country that is determined to annihilate us, North Korea.