Olipop Classic Root Beer

 

I'm in the stage of my life where my weight yo-yo's in about a 10 lb range, and sadly i'm not about to just love and accept myself just the way i am so i am frequently trying fad diets and starting and subsequently abandoning exercise regimens. Well i'm currently in one of those phases. I recently (like, a couple days ago) decided i am going to cut sugar and carbs out of my diet to try and shed a few lbs. So when it comes to root beer reviews, i selected one that doesn't have sugar (or at least not much sugar). And as we all know, root beers in that category are often considered "natural" sodas, which translated means flavorless and/or gross. Well this is one of those kinds of root beers. My wife fittingly discovered this at our local Sprouts grocery store and picked up a can for me cuz she's a nice lady and supports this stupid hobby of mine. Olipop is the latest to jump on the trend of "healthy" sodas with a lineup of 6 different flavors. Also, you'll notice that Olipop spelled backward is Popilo. This has absolutely no significance that i am aware of but it seems like it should, doesn't it? The can says this was manufactured in Oakland, CA but i don't know how long Olipop has been around. The website states the mission of this soda is not only to get away from overloading your diet with sugar but also promoting a healthy gut biome, which is why these sodas have probiotics, botanicals and plant fibers to help promote good digestive health. So where will i steer this review you ask? Exactly where you think i will. But first...

My wife found this in a 12 oz can. I don't know if they have any other vessels of commerce that they distribute this soda in but the design is simple, somewhat neo-retro, and clean. It's typical of the aesthetic of most home renovation Instagram posts these days. It's certainly not the worst design i've seen. Very cute and inviting. But just like all the other natural, healthy root beers i have tried, this stuff is barely a root beer. I was actually pleasantly surprised and given a sense of hope by the aroma of root beer when i cracked the can, but then was immediately returned to taste jail upon drinking it. I mean... what else can i say that i haven't said about the others? It's completely flat, mostly water flavored and has a hint of plant residue and dirty utensils. You can really taste the nature. No semblance of root beer flavor whatsoever. But, at least it's healthy and doesn't have sugar in it. And maybe it will also give me a comfortable and successful movement later. 

My official review is that Olipop Classic Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. Honestly, that's a generous score, but i will say in Olipop's favor that this stuff isn't completely undrinkable. The after-aftertaste is actually where you get some of the root beer notes, but it has to sit on your tongue for a good long bit before it gives you any real flavor profile. This stuff is not for me, but i knew that going in so i am not being very harsh on Olipop. The deck was stacked against them from the start. So while this score may feel like i am taking a crap on Olipop i have the feeling they will return the favor when i rocket diarrhea into my pants during work tomorrow. And all i can say about that is it wouldn't be the first time.