Chumlee Root Beer

 

I once worked at a job i didn't like for 9 years. During that time i was mostly sitting in a low rise cube, staring at a computer screen and answering phone calls, and occasionally responding to emails. It was a means to an end while i was going to school, probably around 2005 or 2006. The company i worked for was expanding and growing like crazy. There was a lot of turnover at that job, constantly cycling through new people. So every once in a while there would be a corporate wide email sent out to which people would reply-all and everyone in the company would get inane comments from random (often new) people regarding equally inane topics and subjects. One such occasion one of these emails went out and sparked a chain of people replying all telling everyone else to stop replying all. I typically stayed out of these exchanges as they merit nothing. Just a bunch of dummies saying "remove me from this list" and "everyone can see your response, stop replying all". But for whatever reason, probably boredom ultimately, i decided to reply to this chain. And not just reply, i intentionally did what everyone else said not to do and hit the reply-all button. I didn't say anything crass or insulting or directed at any one person or group individually. All i said was, "I like mac and cheese. There, i said it." The email storm that erupted after this was neither foreseen nor warranted. Tons of others followed suit by replying with random and non-germane responses that went to everyone in the corporation. Many people replied to me directly, laughing and saying it was really funny (which it wasn't really). Some asked if i realized this went out to the whole company, to which i responded individually and said, "look... i like mac and cheese and i don't care who knows it." Most of it was in a spirit of fun and good will, something this job lacked in spades. Outside of that i did nothing to further the chaos or provoke or incite more email insanity. But one person responded to me directly and told me i would be reported for wasting company resources. And guess what, i was reported. And i was pulled into a room and disciplined by my corporate overlords and formally written up with my first warning. That response to my harmless and playful, albeit inappropriately timed little escapade was completely unwarranted. I was singled out as an instigator when the storm was already happening, i just added some levity to the situation. But the backlash i got did not fit the crime in my opinion. Which is the opinion i have about this root beer. This is a completely unnecessary root beer. Chumlee Root Beer is another of the novelty root beers put out by Rocket Fizz where i found this. For the uninitiated, Chumlee is the name of a guy on the reality TV show Pawn Stars. I don't know anything else about the show, just that it is on TV and people sell their stuff to the pawn shop and Chumlee is one of the people working in the pawn shop. I know nothing more and i want to know nothing more because i don't watch shows of people doing their jobs. Oh, and apparently this guy is stupid wealthy now. That's all i know. Oh, and it's on the History channel, cuz... well, i don't know but it makes me lose a lot of respect for the History channel. 

Anyway, this is backed by/distributed by Rocket Fizz meaning they have a professional operation. The label is very colorful and depicts Chumlee with arms spread wide in the crucifix position with a big smile and the invocation to "Be Awesome". Maybe that's something he says on the show or something. Again, i don't know cuz i don't watch it. It's an eye-catching label based on how colorful and sparkly it is alone, but outside of that there is nothing to distinguish this root beer from any other. And just like the rest of these novelty root beers from Rocket Fizz, it tastes just the same and that taste is not very good. It's a cheap generic knockoff root beer they bottle and slap various labels on to be silly or funny and appeal to a more wide audience of passers-by. No one is seeking this root beer out, that I'm sure of. If you go to someones house and they have even more than one of these in their fridge then you need to evaluate your relationship with that person. The root beer flavor is very faint, basic and barely there. The aftertaste is downright offensive. And the overall conceit of this root beer is motivated by making money. There is no love in this endeavor. I doubt they even have to license Chumlee's likeness for this because if they did it wouldn't be worth it. This stuff is less than average. It is the definition of sub-par.

My official review is that Chumlee Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. I initially gave this a 4 but in re-evaluating i am dropping it to a 3. Avoid this stuff unless... well, there is not really a good reason not to avoid this one in my mind. It's not so disgusting as to make me gag or not finish the bottle, but it's not good by any stretch of the imagination and i see no reason to reach for another one of these in the future. To plus it up a bit my kids and i "enjoyed" making root beer floats with equally bland Kroger brand vanilla ice cream. And you know what, it makes a decent float, but i think you have to intentionally try and ruin a root beer float to make it not good. So just like Chumlee himself, i will be going back to knowing nothing about this root beer. 

O-Zell Root Beer

 

Wow... it's been a long time and i can't believe it's taken me this long to finally review this one (sorry, let's just get right to it this time though). I've come across O-Zell several times and from multiple vendors. Though not mainstream enough to show up in most grocery stores (at least not in my region), this is a fairly common root beer to encounter when visiting different boutique soda or vintage candy stores. So I've actually had this in my fridge for... well, years at this point. I don't remember when i picked it up or where but i've seen this one in my encounters in several stores in several states. Yet i knew nothing about it until now. Honestly i am more shocked it's not more popular if only for the fact that O-Zell Soda Co. was established in 1912 and an early investor was Elias Disney, the father of none other than Walt and Roy Disney. Wait, WHAT? You're telling me this has the full backing of the Disney Corporation and it's not absolutely dominating the soda frontier with a brutal competitive edge? I have strong feelings about the Disney Corporation, from as benign and annoying as how they raise their prices every year and continually gouge the consumer when they rival Apple, Google and Netflix in the corporate environment, to the more sinister like how Disney, Coca-cola and McDonald's form the triumvirate of evil by acquiring wealth, property, influence and power with aims on nothing short of WORLD DOMINATION. I'm telling you... keep your eye on them. And the worst part is as much as i detest going to their parks and buying their merchandise and seeing their movies, i do it. Mostly for my kids and my wife, but partially for me too. And that's the hardest part really. I'm giving my money to a behemoth who both doesn't need it and will never even really understand it but just keeps requiring it from me and everyone else on the planet. A company that big and influential is grotesque. But i'm gonna keep funding it and getting minimal entertainment, maximum guilt and (luckily) some decent family memories in return. 

Anyway, back to O-Zell, why isn't this soda everywhere? I don't think it's even in Disney parks, is it? The company was founded in Silver Lake, CA, but it has ties to Chicago, IL if only by the means of funding the restoration and preservation of the childhood home of Walt and Roy Disney. The illustrated story is on the website, complete with heroes and villains, for those who want to read it. The website and label seem fairly professional and not the cheapest option. The cartoon depiction of Elias Disney graces the bottom of the label. The label and website say they use all natural flavors, like Hawaiian sugar cane. And honestly, it doesn't taste bad. It's actually pretty good. So they have a decent product, a professional operation, an inexhaustible financial backing and even the borrowed good will of most of the planet by association alone. So again... why isn't this stuff synonymous with water? It just makes me wonder if they really do have those kinds of resources and cachet, or maybe the management of this branch isn't subject to the same corporate edict of nothing less than ruthlessly and absolutely crushing all competition. 

The taste is a bit thin, but it isn't unpleasant. That sounds like i'm trying to not say i like this stuff. Truthfully, i don't really. But it's not terrible. I would say it's better than most. It doesn't have a "natural" soda taste, which is good, and i doubt they strive to be a healthy alternative. But the creamy root beer flavor, though thin, is pretty decent for a craft soda. The taste doesn't last long and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but it's enjoyable. My kids both liked it as well, which seems like the target audience if they lean the same way as their corporate masters. So overall i'd say... not too bad.

My official review is that O-Zell Root Beer gets 6 (six) IBCs. This is a good root beer, but it's not in 7 territory. I'd say 6.5 if i did non-integer ratings. But i don't. So it's a 6 (yeah, i rounded down but i think they will be ok). Look, does this soda have any real ties to the Disney Corporation? Probably not. So i am gonna look for it the next time i visit one of the parks with my family. That will be the real tell to know if this stuff is really affiliated with Disney or just part of the corporate machine trying to syphon off of Disney's success. And that's probably the only thing worse than Disney itself. 

Olipop Classic Root Beer

 

I'm in the stage of my life where my weight yo-yo's in about a 10 lb range, and sadly i'm not about to just love and accept myself just the way i am so i am frequently trying fad diets and starting and subsequently abandoning exercise regimens. Well i'm currently in one of those phases. I recently (like, a couple days ago) decided i am going to cut sugar and carbs out of my diet to try and shed a few lbs. So when it comes to root beer reviews, i selected one that doesn't have sugar (or at least not much sugar). And as we all know, root beers in that category are often considered "natural" sodas, which translated means flavorless and/or gross. Well this is one of those kinds of root beers. My wife fittingly discovered this at our local Sprouts grocery store and picked up a can for me cuz she's a nice lady and supports this stupid hobby of mine. Olipop is the latest to jump on the trend of "healthy" sodas with a lineup of 6 different flavors. Also, you'll notice that Olipop spelled backward is Popilo. This has absolutely no significance that i am aware of but it seems like it should, doesn't it? The can says this was manufactured in Oakland, CA but i don't know how long Olipop has been around. The website states the mission of this soda is not only to get away from overloading your diet with sugar but also promoting a healthy gut biome, which is why these sodas have probiotics, botanicals and plant fibers to help promote good digestive health. So where will i steer this review you ask? Exactly where you think i will. But first...

My wife found this in a 12 oz can. I don't know if they have any other vessels of commerce that they distribute this soda in but the design is simple, somewhat neo-retro, and clean. It's typical of the aesthetic of most home renovation Instagram posts these days. It's certainly not the worst design i've seen. Very cute and inviting. But just like all the other natural, healthy root beers i have tried, this stuff is barely a root beer. I was actually pleasantly surprised and given a sense of hope by the aroma of root beer when i cracked the can, but then was immediately returned to taste jail upon drinking it. I mean... what else can i say that i haven't said about the others? It's completely flat, mostly water flavored and has a hint of plant residue and dirty utensils. You can really taste the nature. No semblance of root beer flavor whatsoever. But, at least it's healthy and doesn't have sugar in it. And maybe it will also give me a comfortable and successful movement later. 

My official review is that Olipop Classic Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. Honestly, that's a generous score, but i will say in Olipop's favor that this stuff isn't completely undrinkable. The after-aftertaste is actually where you get some of the root beer notes, but it has to sit on your tongue for a good long bit before it gives you any real flavor profile. This stuff is not for me, but i knew that going in so i am not being very harsh on Olipop. The deck was stacked against them from the start. So while this score may feel like i am taking a crap on Olipop i have the feeling they will return the favor when i rocket diarrhea into my pants during work tomorrow. And all i can say about that is it wouldn't be the first time.

Pearson Bros./Bull's Head

I would describe my child self as a trouble maker. I wouldn't call myself a rule breaker, though i often broke the rules. I just liked to mix it up, but i also knew my limits. I did some unlawful things, but nothing so serious that would land me in real trouble with law enforcement. However, one of the "serious" times i had an interaction with police as a youth was when i was 15 years old. I was living with my aunt at the time. She had dropped me and my cousin off in a shopping plaza with some other neighborhood kids so we could buy some CDs. We first went into the local Target to peruse the selection. Not finding anything to our liking, we left the store and walked down a few stores to the local Circuit City. Now, for those of you born after 1995, Circuit City was an electronics store similar to Best Buy that went out of business (which is where Best Buy is headed as well). We looked at the CDs there and decided we were not going to get anything, so we went back to the Target and stood outside waiting for my aunt to come pick us up. While standing outside Target, we were approached by a police officer on a bicycle. He asked us if we had been inside the Target. We told him yes we looked for some CDs before going down to Circuit City. He asked if we used the payphone inside. We told him no. Now, for those of you born after 1995, payphones were devices set up by the telephone companies around town, like in stores and on street corners, where one could place a phone call for approximately $0.25. They were like really big stationary cell phones, but they didn't have a screen or access to the internet. Oh, and also, CDs were "compact disc's" that we used to listen to music. Ask your dad about them. Anyway, we told the officer we were just waiting for our ride to come pick us up. He took down our names and the phone number for my aunt as she was our ride. He then asked us to follow him. We walked back into the Target over to the payphones. He said he had a complaint that someone had called 911 using the payphone (a free call) and then hung up. He asked again if we used the payphones. We again told him no. He then proceeded to accuse us of lying and said he knows we did. I became obstinate and continued to deny doing anything wrong because we didn't. He called over an employee, a young girl probably not much older than us, and asked her if we were the kids who had called 911. She gave us each a quick glance and said, "i don't know, i didn't see who it was." He thanked her and she walked away. 

He then turned to us and said, "there you go, positive identity." 

"Positive identity?!" i balked, shocked at the accusation, "she just said she didn't see the people who did it. How is that positive identity?!" 

"I can get someone down here to dust for fingerprints if we need", he said while staring all his attention on me.

"Go ahead then, call them up," i replied, "we didn't use the phones."

"That's all they do," he shot back, squaring up to me to intimidate me, "they just drive around all day waiting for us to call them to a scene."

"Then get them down here. We have nothing to hide."

We stared at each other for a few seconds. He then said, "wait here," and walked away. We didn't see him again. My aunt arrived about 10 minutes later and said she had been called by a police officer who said we made a prank call to 911. But he didn't stick around to talk to her or follow up with anything. He just left. 

That interaction taught me that it is important to get a good understanding of the situation before acting like you know what you're talking about. That officer was completely out of his depth. But instead of trying to get the facts straight he just started making wild accusations hoping one of us would crack. I don't want to be like that, but i am having a hard time with this root beer. It has a confusing history. It's been around since 1896, which is a long time to be in business. But when you visit the website, it says the name of the root beer is Bull's Head, not Pearson Bros. I think it started as Bull's Head but i have no idea how or when or why Pearson Bros. got put into the equation and/or why they needed to change the name on the label. It seems like the name change may just be for the U.S. distribution because i think it's still called Bull's Head in Canada. There were several breaks in production and buying and selling of rights by multiple parties. It's all very confusing. The label also says it's made in Canada where it originated, but the label also says it is bottled in Vermont. This root beer is living a double life. And if i can't get a straight answer i'm gonna call down someone to take some fingerprints so we can get to the bottom of this. 

I have a few people working on my behalf to find root beers for me, so this a quick shout out to my buddy Kyle who picked this up for me at a local Cracker Barrel restaurant in the gift shop. I like the bottle. It looks like it's a medicine bottle from the 1800's. The label is good too. Lots of fun imagery and it really embodies the time it is trying to recreate. But if this is what root beers tasted like in 1896, then no thanks. This stuff is lifeless. The sniff test resulted in nothing and the taste test wasn't much better. It's like lightly carbonated, slightly sweet brown water. It's sweetened with cane sugar and the label calls it "natural", but it doesn't have a very earthy or natural taste to it, which actually works in its favour (<-- Canadian spelling). It's not putrid or acrid, but it's not pleasurable in the least. Even my children were unimpressed, and they are just a couple dumb kids who want to drink anything carbonated. Are you listening Bull's Head? This doesn't even appeal to children. 

My official review is that Pearson Bros./Bull's Head gets 3 (three) IBCs. Honestly, a 3 is generous. Probably should be a 2 but it's not so completely off-putting that i want to spit it out. What is this stuff called? Where is it from? What is it supposed to taste like? I can't get the facts straight and i certainly won't be drinking this stuff again. But for all the things i don't know about this root beer, i do know one thing; it's not good. Now that's positive identity. 

Frost Creek Root Beer

Geez... this feels kinda awkward. But what can i say? it's been a busy year. We sold our house and bought a new one and have been slowly fixing it up over the past year. And amidst all that craziness, my son broke his nose at school last year, a good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer in January and has been undergoing chemo, and other various events have really made this a memorable year. And while i've been thinking for a while that i need to post, in large part because i have a backlog growing in my fridge, i just have the nagging feeling that i need to keep doing this. I tell myself it's not worth it but i enjoy it. It's a nice little hobby, one that i started at a time in my life when i was a young newlywed, a childless student working full time and just trying to get myself set up for what would be my new future. I had a few close friends when i started this blog. Friends from high school and college roommates, all in the same stage of life with similar backgrounds and experiences, and i would share my root beers and reviews with them. And one of those friends passed away last week. He took his own life 2 days before his 40th birthday, leaving behind a wife and 4 young children. It was a really tragic thing that happened, and sadly we had grown apart in recent years. I don't think i had even talked to him in close to 3 years. As a young couple, we moved away to Florida with our toddler son while he took his small family up to Portland to finish pharmacy school and then up to Alaska once he graduated. I loved him like a brother at times, but to be truthful we had a difficult friendship. To paraphrase another friend of ours, we had really high highs and really low lows. Part of growing apart over the years was my intentional choice. It's difficult to say like this but it's true. I'm not proud of it, and now that's how we'll end i suppose. I figured it may be that way but i just figured it would be a long time from now. While his passing obviously saddens me, I mourn for his children most, but i have comfort knowing his family will be taken care of. And i hope he has some relief from his pain now. In summary, i wouldn't say this is the main thing making me want to finally make a new post, but it definitely contributed. 

Also, have you guys heard of this thing called the coronavirus? Pretty wild. 

Frost Creek Root Beer is brewed by Frost Creek Beverages and is one of the flavors in their lineup of craft sodas. The company operates out of Carrollton, TX and has been in business since 2014. I don't know if i want to keep giving a summary of the company/root beer story and history anymore. I figured if people are interested they can go to the website and look it up themselves. Oh, and i also didn't read it. Gotta ease back into this.

The label is very plain but i like it a lot. It's a nice glossy sticker label that has some flair to it. A simple color scheme and stylized company logo make up the bulk of the label. The company uses pure cane sugar and other natural ingredients common to craft sodas. I detect a hint of wintergreen, but it mostly just has a nice mellow classic root beer flavor. This was a welcome return to posting reviews. My wife procured a 12 pack of this root beer by mail as a gift for Father's Day this year and my kids and wife and i have been enjoying them slowly over the last couple weeks. I enjoy the subtle bite in the aftertaste. It's a nice drink.

My official review is that Frost Creek Root Beer gets 7 (seven) IBCs. I really enjoyed this one. It was a contender for 8 IBCs, but i don't think it's quite there yet. Regardless though, this stuff is a pleasure to drink and well worth the purchase if you get a chance. They operate out of Texas, the same state as IBC, and after thinking about this whole endeavor over this last year i gotta share that i've been a little disappointed with IBC lately. I don't love the recipe change and the cost cutting on the bottles. You're on notice IBC. Straighten up or a young upstart like this may take your place. 

Gold Mine Root Beer

Oh boy. Another one on the books. I want to get this done now because i have a busy month coming up next month and i don't know what kind of free time i will have. We are moving houses again and have a lot to do in a compressed time frame. It's like i'm being punished for some injustice i committed in the past and skirted the consequences. The closest i've ever been to being arrested was one time when i was probably 13 or 14 i squirted water at a girl through her house window and the water got on a leather recliner and her mom called the cops to come talk to me. He sat me in his car and explained that they weren't pressing charges but that they could if they wanted to and that i was very lucky that i wasn't going to be arrested. It was a really really really toned down version of Scared Straight. But since then i've done plenty of other bad things that i was never properly punished for. So maybe this crazy moving/renovating schedule is the universe getting even with me, which is also likely why i am reviewing THIS root beer specifically. Gold Mine Root Beer is another of the many iterations of bad root beers Rocket Fizz has been brewing up,  slapping a silly name or theme on, and putting out on shelves for dummies like me to pick up. Side note; I've gotten bad at saving my opinion for after my extremely thorough assessment and tend to just blurt out what i think of it cuz i can't be bothered to build any kind of suspense or intrigue or climactic story framework before the big finale. So just to make sure i'm completely clear on this, i don't like this root beer. It feels like a punishment to drink and review.

This stuff comes in an oversized 22 oz. brown glass bottle. It has a very flashy and shiny label depicting a prospector in a mine standing next to a cart. This little guy is probably the inspiration for the prospector in The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Looks identical, right? I really enjoyed that show, all of the little stories. The last one in the stage coach was probably my least favorite. And my most favorite was the traveling showman with Liam Neeson. Man, that one was brutal. Funny how my least favorite had the most talking and my most favorite had probably the least talking. But i really liked the prospector one as well. Those Coen Brother really put out some great stuff don't they? Don't you wish we could just sit and talk about something good like the Coen Brothers and their great movies? Me too. But i have to talk about a bad root beer instead.

So they are already not skimping and doing some good work on the label, but to add some mystique to the whole theme of this root beer there is a large portion of the label dedicated to handing out a "Gold Mining Company certificate" which when 5 are collected a Death Valley Root Beer (another sub-par root beer) can be redeemed. And to add more to the packaging, they do the thing Indian Wells does and pour "wax" (not really wax) over the cap and stamp it with the Rocket Fizz logo. But this is a lesson each of us should learn about flashy packaging. It's the little things, the details, that matter. While i will whole heartedly admit this oversize bottle and flashy label and poured wax cap (not really wax) stamped with the company logo paints a picture of a luxurious root beer experience waiting for the person who indulges and decides to treat themselves, the real story is plain as day when you peel that waxy finish (not really wax) off the cap. Underneath, they used a bottle cap for a completely separate root beer. 

These guys only appear to not be skimping, but they are skimping. It would have been better to have a blank cap under that not really wax, because this tips their hand to tell you that this root beer is not as advertised. It's not luxurious. It's not rugged. It doesn't embody the prospector spirit of the 1840s and 50s. It's a fraud. A fake. It's fool's gold, plain and simple. This stuff doesn't even taste like anything. It's super watered down and lacks all flavor. Any flavor it may have fades so quickly that it's practically indiscernible. Sweetened with cane sugar, this doesn't even have the decency to be sweet tasting. It just tastes like nothing and leaves a really bad aftertaste in your mouth to boot. I reject you Gold Mine and all that you stand for. You bring shame upon Joel and Ethan Coen, but even more, you bring shame upon yourself. 

My official review is that Gold Mine Root Beer gets 2 (two) IBCs. I really didn't enjoy this. The only pleasure i derived was knowing i have this complete and i can move on to other more deserving root beers. And a score of 2 is pretty harsh i know, but this stuff so fully rubbed me the wrong way tonight that i stand by it. It was an unpleasant experience from start to finish. Also, my kids thought it was pretty good. Just thought i would throw that in there. 

Bear Wizz Root Beer

Gonna round out my Albany, NY root beers now with this playful and whimsical drink. Bear Wizz Root Beer is brewed by the Adirondack Brewery (not to be confused with Adirondack Beverages Co.) in Lake George, NY. The brewery has been open since 1999, but I’m not certain this root beer has been in production that long. It’s another local concoction, but by a small independent brewer and not some nameless, faceless entity putting out garbage with the word root beer attached. The backstory is that a guy went to Europe after college, got hammered on some sweet lagers and ales over there, came back to the states and couldn’t find anything that compared, so he started brewing his own beers. Then after 19 years of home brewing he opened his own pub and brewery. It’s a tale as old as time kids. Now this lousy drunk and likely disappointment to his family is living the dream, getting tanked every day of his miserable life, and rakin in that sweet sweet cash while he does it. I say hats off to you man, you’ve done it. You’ve found a way to be both successful and perpetually drunk. Like I said, livin the dream. 

I picked up a 4-pack of brown glass bottles from the local Hannaford grocery store here in Latham, NY just outside Albany. The label is very colorful and evocative. There is an image of a large bear entangled in thick brush being swarmed by bees. It has a look of supreme surprise and a bit of panic on its face. The label itself is very matte and non-glossy, giving it a more homemade look. Overall I’m a fan of the label. Nice work guys. What I’m not a huge fan of is the name, Bear Wizz. It’s a bit too cheeky for me. Is the brewer trying to imply that this root beer tastes like the urine excreted from a bear? Dare I say, Bear Piss?! I don’t know and I ultimately don’t find it amusing. But I do enjoy saying it in the manner made popular by Stewie on Family Guy, “Bear Whizz”. 

The label says this is a classic creamy root beer and boasts about the foaminess you can come to expect. Neither of those descriptions proved to be accurate to me. I will say other ingredients on the label definitely do play into the flavor, namely honey, cane sugar, vanilla and anise. Mostly anise. It has a deep molasses taste for the base, the cane sugar for a nice sweet finish, and a hint of honey for some tone. Sounds good, right? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint but it’s just ok. This is definitely the boldest and most defined flavor of the 3 root beers I have tried here in Albany, but it didn’t have very stiff competition. It’s not that is has a bad flavor, it’s more of a flavor I’ve tasted before and wasn’t a fan. It reminds me of a muted Thomas Kemper or even an Abita. The honey really sells it, but it’s quite subtle. Again, no creaminess or foamy taste, and the base flavor just doesn’t do it for me. It just seems like this one, like so many others, is trying way too hard.

My official review is Bear W(h)izz Root Beer gets 6 (six) IBCs. It’s a reputable score. Maybe I’m feeling generous right now or that I need to balance out my last two bad scores. I’m just now realizing this root beer score is the sum of the two previous scores I gave to its associates. I assure you that was not intentional, not that any of you would or should care. But this stuff has its place in the root beer hierarchy and that place is right above the middle.