Root Beer

Wow... this one does not look promising... Just a little background, my wife and i just made a major move across the United States and now reside in Central Florida for my new job with a new company. So unfortunately this post is more out of necessity than for actual reviewing purposes since i haven't written one in a while. But trust me... you'll get everything you need about this root beer with this review. This root beer is simply called Root Beer. Yeah, that's right. It is king of the generics. The label says it's "manufactured for" Cott beverages down in Tampa, FL (which is not far from where i now reside). I found it at Walmart before leaving Arizona, but it's not the Walmart brand because they still sell that one alongside this one. The difference is that the Walmart one is actually pretty good. Uh oh, i think i gave away the ending on this one.

I think they had this in cans as well, but i elected to get the 2 liter bottle because it was much cheaper and i was sure i would hate it so i wanted to give it as little credence as possible. Can the label get any more generic than this? I mean... come on. A little bit of effort would have put this in the lowest tier of generic root beers, but the "manufacturers" over at Cott in Tampa couldn't be bothered i suppose (I actually know nothing about Tampa but i hear it's nice there, so maybe the people at Cott really couldn't be bothered since they were busy just enjoying living in Tampa).

How about the taste? Is it any good?
Nope.

My official review is that Root Beer gets 2 (two) IBCs. As bad as it is, it's not as undrinkable as some of the name brand root beers out there (i'm lookin' at you Route 66 Beer). But this easily has to be the worst generic i've had. It almost tastes like it's a diet root beer. Not a fan, AT ALL. Don't bother. And again, sorry this review is so short and lame, but i've been busy with my new job and adjusting to the time difference and everything. So the next one will be better, and besides, i don't have to explain myself to you anyway. Ungrateful jerks...

- Love, Cosmo

Tubz Root Beer

So i have a bit of news. As you may or may not know, i graduated from university last May and have been looking for a job for the past 8 months. Well i flew out to Florida last week to interview and was offered a job in Ocala, so i will be picking up and moving my root beer reviewing operations down to the Sunshine State within the month. While down there, i stopped at a local Save-a-lot grocery store and found this little gem on the shelf. Tubz Root Beer is the generic brand carried by the Save-a-lot chain. The website listed on the label is that of Save-a-lot, so it's not very interesting or informative. I like the name. It reminds me of my first year of college when i lived with my friend Richard (whom i have mentioned several times), my brother, and a Japanese roommate named Taiyo, which is Japanese for "Awesome". My brother had a friend who came around named Tubby. He was a good ol' boy from Arkansas and he wasn't the most slender man i've met. He kind of had a wild streak in him and drove a Chevy Camaro blasting Aerosmith and the like. Anyway, we would do a lot of stupid and crazy things with Tubby around and it was a lot of fun. I think this root beer's name would pay homage to that despicable man and the enjoyment he brought us all.

The label follows the formula of generic root beers fairly closely, but it has some redeeming qualities. I like the big root beer mug featured below the prominent name of the root beer. It's a step above the normal when it comes to generics. Still, the color scheme and layout and the fact that a mug of root beer is displayed at all basically falls right in line with what's expected. Not a bad attempt for a generic brand though. I would say this label is higher on the scale based on what's out there. It's definitely not dreadful.

I'm sure you can guess what i will say about the taste of this root beer. It's no mystery that it's not going to be the best stuff around. I will say i had high hopes when i opened it because it has a nice aroma. But it definitely smells better than it tastes. It's not terrible, just nothing special. The root beer flavor is very watered down and the taste fades almost immediately after you drink it. It isn't overly sweet and doesn't leave really any kind of aftertaste. I would say if it had been a blind taste test it would be easy to tell this was a generic brand.  The carbonation was good, and for those of you who care (i don't) it had good head on it. But overall, it was pretty unimpressive and unimaginative. But hey... it was only $0.79 for the 2 liter.

My official Review is that Tubz Root Beer gets 4 (four) IBCs. Not my favorite and i doubt i will go out of my way to get it again. It may be good for root beer floats because it is so heady, but i probably won't put the effort in to find out. For what it's worth, i like the name, but that's basically this root beer's only saving grace. Go ahead and pass on this one folks.

Q&A session

Ok, i thought i'd treat you to a little Q&A with one of my loyal readers. I rarely do this, so don't expect it to happen all that often, but this individual who goes by the handle Doug and Tracy asked some valid and legitimate questions. I do not know whether i am responding directly to Doug or his counterpart Tracy, but here is a rundown of the questions asked followed by my answers.

talking about drinking Thomas Kemper root beer (which is not my favorite): my first bottle was poured into a glass, while my second tasting was consumed directly from the bottle. The second bottle was way better!!! I'm convinced that this made the difference, but have no scientific proof to back up my theory. Curious how you choose to drink your root beers, and if you can notice a difference between the two methods! (also, I assume that they must be chilled either way....no adding ice when pouring into a glass).

Well Douglas/Tracinita, to answer your question directly, i drink straight from the bottle unless the root beer was purchased in a 2 liter bottle (or aluminum can smarty pants). This is the preferred method of any self respecting root beer connoisseur. However, drinking directly from a 2 liter plastic bottle can be cumbersome and therefore i usually choose to pour it into a cup. But it is without question better tasting if you drink root beer directly from the 12 oz. glass bottle. No scientific proof is needed. It's simply a law of nature, like how Chinese food tastes better when eaten with chopsticks. Really no other explanation is necessary (or even available). Frankly, i don't notice a difference between the two methods because i've never poured a bottle of root beer into a glass. Seriously, that's a rookie move right there. Forgivable maybe for someone such as yourself, but i would be ostracized from root beer circles everywhere if that rumor ever held any credence.

As for the second part of your question, all my root beers are always pre-chilled. Adding ice compromises the taste by watering it down. While i may from time to time drink root beer with ice, i never RATE root beer that has been chilled with ice. It is always chilled overnight in my fridge. Personally, i don't really care for ice because i have sensitive teeth (i'm a sensitive kind of guy).

Anyway, i hope this resolves the matter and gives you, my loyal readers, a little more insight into my process. Now no more questions until next year.

Flashback Olde Time Root Beer

Happy New Year everyone! We made it! Well this time of year is a time for new beginnings and i wanted to review a root beer today to reflect that, but when i looked through my inventory i didn't feel i had anything that really matched the criteria. However, i do have one that is synonymous with looking back and reminiscing over the past year, so i think i am going to go that direction with this review. First off, i must say congratulations to all of you who survived the Mayan Apocalypse which wiped out  all but 1/8th of the world's population just a few weeks ago. I assumed it would affect my reading audience, but hopefully i can recover and find new survivors to read my blog as they scavenge the wasteland in search of acceptable root beers. Other than the obvious end of civilization as we know it, 2012 was an eventful year. It was a leap year, an Olympic year, and an election year for starters. My wife had her 30th birthday, i had my golden birthday, and my baby had his first birthday last year. Really, for the purpose of this blog there is too much of last year to reminisce about, but what i am trying to say is that this seems like the perfect time to sit back and reflect on last year with a Flashback Olde Time Root Beer. This root beer comes from Seaside, OR and is distributed through Orca Beverages all around the Pacific Northwest. My friend Lafe moved up to Portland last year to start pharmaceutical school and picked this one up for me while checking out the area for an acceptable place to build a bunker and survive the apocalypse. Thanks again Lafe. If you care to go up to the ruins of Seaside you may find the malt shoppe and ice cream parlor where this root beer was crafted. Perhaps my wife and i will brave the wasteland some day and venture up to Flashback's for a chance to look back on what life was like so very long ago.

This root beer comes in a classic 12 oz. brown glass bottle with a very colorful label. The background is made to look like red bricks and the retro font style and design is supposed to remind people of the 1950's when malt shoppes and ice cream parlors were regular hang out spots for people. Apparently it still is for residents of Seaside. They are treated to themed nights of the week for particular deals and everything. Sounds like a popular destination. I gotta say, i like the label. It's fresh and fun. Flashback has 4 flavors of soda and each label is the same design layout with different color schemes for each. I haven't tried any of the other flavors, but i think i'd be willing to give them a shot if i ever got up there.

The folks in Oregon have a bit of a reputation for being very particular about the food they eat and the ingredients they use. It's a very high vegan population, and from what i hear, the humorous sketches on the TV show Portlandia are more or less quite accurate and credible of the way people live up there. So, that being said it's no surprise this root beer is made with natural ingredients, including cane sugar and honey. I am not a fan of most natural root beers, and i don't know that this one claims to be "all natural", but i do know this... it's pretty dang good. I like it quite a lot, and my wife agrees. This stuff is definitely not too shabby. It has a good amount of carbonation and a nice sweet, vanilla taste with just a tiny hint of honey (which is just enough for me). Overall, it's a well constructed root beer.

My official review is that Flashback Olde Time Root Beer gets 7 (seven) IBCs. I was very tempted to give it an 8. It's really almost there, but ultimately i thought an 8 might be a bit too generous. But to set the record straight, this stuff is really good. I would be glad to travel up to Seaside to visit the shoppe and have another anytime. So to anyone out there who is still alive and has internet access, check out Seaside, OR for some delicious root beer. And now that the word is out, be sure to get there quick before the roaming gangs of the wasteland do.

Eric's Famous Root Beer

It's time i start reviewing the batch of root beers i got from The Root Beer Store. Technically, i already reviewed at least one i got there, but i reviewed all the root beers i ordered from the Soda Emporium together and now i will endeavor to do the same with this group. Eric's Famous Root Beer is one i've heard of for a long time but only now have gotten my hands on.  It was started by a guy named Eric around the year 2000 (the distant future) up in Millcreek, WA. Eric's Famous is a line of sports drinks (a la Gatorade) as well as 4 flavors of soda, root beer being one. The sodas are energy drinks, so this is technically an energy soda. I've reviewed a few energy root beers on this blog before (see Bawls G33K B33R and Root Jack) so this isn't necessarily new to me, but i was caught off guard a little. I guess i was expecting kind of a more classic crafted root beer, but this is definitely not that. It's one of the few root beers containing caffeine, along with ginseng, guarana, and all those other things that give you energy. Granted, i think most energy drinks overload you with sugar and caffeine to the extent that you feel sick afterward. So i will give it to Eric that he tried to make an "all natural" energy drink. And speaking of being caught off guard, if i'm looking at the website right i think Eric is a black guy. Good for you Eric. I didn't know black guys even liked root beer. But i think i speak for all root beer enthusiasts when i say we're glad to have you.

Side note: Sorry that first paragraph was so hyperlink heavy. I apologize. Where are my manners?

This energy root beer comes in a classic 12 oz. brown glass bottle. The label looks very professional and classy. It has a lot of silver metallic elements to it and it's flashy and eye-catching. It almost looks like a beer label. My first impression was Coors Light, but when i looked up pics for comparison it didn't really match up as well as i thought. Something about the label says "silver bullet" to me though. It has a real machine quality to it. But maybe that just comes from the pics i saw on the website of the root beer next to something that looks like a chromed up drill press and a circular saw. Not sure what to make of it all. Maybe that this stuff is just for men? Men working in construction or other blue collar jobs? I don't know. But regardless, i like the label. 

However, the taste is up for debate. If you read the reviews i did on the other energy root beers, you'll know i'm not really a fan of how they taste. So right out of the gate, Eric's has a heavy bias against it. I will say for the record though that this is definitely better than Root Jack. And it's been a long time since i tried Bawls, but it's probably better than that too. As i mentioned, it's made with natural ingredients, including cane sugar. It has a fair root beer flavor and decent carbonation, but the energy drink side of it basically dominates the aftertaste. I think Eric did good at making his energy drink taste like a root beer, but unfortunately it's not really what i'm looking for over all. The taste has grown on me the more i slowly drink it, but it was quite jarring at first and still doesn't quite settle right with my expectations of what a root beer should be. 

My official review is that Eric's Famous Root Beer gets 5 (five) IBCs. My wife thinks i am out-of-my-mind crazy for rating it this high. From that statement you can probably gather that she's not a fan. But she had the same jarring first experience i had without the luxury of finishing off the rest of the bottle; a practice i try to do with every root beer i have reviewed and only failed to do with a very select few of truly awful root beers. So while she tapped out early, i gotta say sticking with it has it's benefits. I can appreciate this root beer, but still... that doesn't mean i have to like it. Sorry Eric, but this stuff really just isn't for me. I'm still glad you're with us though. 

The Pop Shoppe Root Beer

Here is another one i ordered from Soda Emporium. I am coming to the end of the ones i ordered from this site, but not to fear because i still have several more to review from another site. The Pop Shoppe is a company that makes sodas in a variety of flavors. The website is kinda crazy, so just be ready for that. It seems like it has a lot to explore and promises to be jam packed with fun and adventures, but i went there just for basic information and didn't poke around all that much. Something of interest is that this company is Canadian and was started all the way back in 1969. It was started by two guys in London, Ontario and enjoyed quite a bit of success up until about 1983 when sales slowed down and the company shut its doors (from what i can gather). Then in 2002, a new guy stepped in and revitalized the company, moved it to Burlington, Ontario, and brought it to the point it is today where it is available once again all over Canada and the United States. So here's an interesting fact about me... i actually lived in both London and Burlington. Both great cities, though if i had to choose a favorite it would be Burlington. Beautiful place right on the southwestern shore of Lake Ontario. I don't love the winters up there, but fall is gorgeous with all the leaves changing color. I lived in Ontario for 2 years and never heard of this stuff until now, but i guess it makes sense since i left in 2002, right as it was making a comeback. Must have just missed it.

The distinctive "stubby" bottle as it was known was a signature part of the company's persona, one that was important enough to maintain during the revitalization. It's clear glass and 12 oz. but definitely not typical. My wife says it's cute. I rather like it also. Canada must have a fascination with small bottles because i remember a line of sodas called "chubbies", and the cuteness of the packaging must have been the whole appeal because they were awful. The label is part of the bottle. Doesn't come off without some serious scraping. I don't know what you call that kind of label, but it's kind of like screen printing on a t-shirt. It's just on there. It's very simple in nature and maintains the original logo of the company from its inception in 1969. I like it.

But... this root beer is not without its flaws. First, it doesn't really taste like root beer to me at all. My wife says it tastes like medicine. She's not a fan of it at all. While i don't agree with her and i don't hate it, it's far from one of my favorites. It's very watery and nearly completely flat as well as not very sweet. It's also quite foamy and maintains a decent head for those of you who care about that kind of thing. I for one do not, but it's worth mentioning i suppose. I really don't enjoy the aftertaste either, which lingers for a long time after the bottle is empty. I still can't really put my finger on what it tastes like and nothing in the list of ingredients lends any hints, but rest assured that this stuff definitely falls short where it counts.

My official review is that The Pop Shoppe Root Beer gets 4 (four) IBCs. To be completely upfront and honest, the only things that saved this from getting a 3 was the stubby bottle and the fact that it's from my old stomping grounds. It was destined for a 3 (or worse) based on taste alone. This is kind of harsh i know because the 1 to 3 ratings are reserved for root beers i absolutely hate. That's why i struggled so hard with this one. I want to love it. I really do. I just can't. I won't say i'll never drink this again, but i will say that this root beer had better have more than just a pretty face if it wants to be in my regular rotation.

Crater Lake Root Beer

My recent root beer exchanging acquaintance Eric told me about the website where i found this root beer (or at least i think he did). Crater Lake Root Beer was one of the root beers i ordered from The Root Beer Store a while ago. Like the Soda Emporium they have a good variety and seem to get new brands from time to time. The Root Beer Store is based out of the Pacific Northwest, specifically Washington state, so it's nice to be able to access some of the root beers in that region via this website. The company was started by a guy named Curt Gouverneur from Indiana and his family. The family moved to Portland, OR (where Crater Lake is located) and got into the soda game making it and distributing it in kegs until a recent merger allowed them to start bottling it and selling it in retail establishments. They make a total of four flavors of sodas, one of which is root beer. They tout all natural ingredients and 100% cane sugar as well as being gluten free and kosher. You can always count on those Pacific Northwest hippies to make a vegan soda when you need it.

This root beer comes in a clear 12 oz. glass bottle and has a very colorful and tasteful label. There is a mural of serene looking Crater Lake and the whole thing is fresh and clean looking. There is a photograph of Crater Lake on the website, and i gotta say the place is very picturesque. I like the label a lot. Maybe if i ever get up to Portland i'll go visit the real thing. Until then i might just keep this bottle on my desk so i can gaze at it when i want to get away from work for a few minutes.

The website says that all the ingredients are organic and that there is little carbonation for a full, crisp taste. Well i gotta hand it to those hippies... they made a pretty decent soda. I would like a little more carbonation for my personal tastes, but it is still pretty good. It has a decent vanilla flavor and a nice sweet undertone from the cane sugar. Still, there is something about it that is a little funky. It does leave a bit of a bad aftertaste in my mouth, but all in all it's not bad.

My official review is that Crater Lake gets 6 (six) IBCs. I don't think i would classify this as a natural root beer even though it would technically fit the bill. It's too good for that anyway. Instead i will stick with the term used on the website and call it a "gourmet" root beer. It definitely didn't offend me so bad that i wouldn't try it again. Still, at about $2.20 per bottle, this stuff is a bit pricey to buy one at a time in the mail. Maybe go up to Crater Lake and grab one of these sodas sometime. If i ever get up there, i'll probably do that.