Old Town Root Beer 66

Yet another root beer with a name that is so similar in theme to many others that it's hard to differentiate this root beer from like ones when only mentioning the brand. Old Town Root Beer 66 is a root beer that came to me via my friend Richard in California. The Old Town Root Beer shop is near his house out there and he sometimes stops in and finds me things to review. The shop has been around since 2000, and i am assuming they have been brewing and selling their labels of root beer for just as long. This root beer is easy enough to forget on name alone. I think i've reviewed an Old Town Root Beer (brewed by the same company), a Route Beer 66, a Root 66 Beer, and some other ones that are similar in many ways. It's hard to keep them all straight. All i can really pull out from my foggy memory of them is that Root Beer 66 is disgusting. I think i rated it a 1 or a 2. You'll have to go back and check, but for goodness sake please don't drink it. Anyway, this root beer is cashing in on the Route 66 theme, which is something i detest having grown up in a tourist town along Route 66. The place was so littered with Route 66 merchandise that it was laughable, not unlike the scene in this pic. Now the whole road is lined with roadside attractions for small towns to prey upon travelers. Not sure what prompted Old Town to brand a version of their root beer under this name, but here it is in all it's fabulous lack-of-glory. Just a word of advice to anyone in the root beer game... just because "route" and "root" are homonyms doesn't mean people should start interchanging them to sell goods and services. It's stupid, so knock it off. Now if you'll excuse me, i have a dental appointment for a scheduled route canal.

This 12 oz dark brown glass bottle is dressed with a stylish enough label. It's something a little different from the normal themes we usually see. It is structured under the iconic/played out Route 66 road sign graphic with a map of the continental United States showing the path that Route 66 carves all the way from Chicago to Los Angeles across our great country. The map even lists several of the more prominent cities it passes through (my hometown is excluded of course, but nearby Flagstaff made the list). It's weird to think for how long the road is it only inhabits 8 of our 50 states, but most of the states it does cross are some of the larger states in our nation in terms of land mass (Texas and California being among them). Several tag lines are listed on the label as well, such as "Get to the root of Route 66", "The finest root beer on the route", and "Get your sugar fix on Route 66". All of these irritate me, but the last one especially since it's a play on the old trope "Get your kicks on Route 66". I really don't see a need for all these tag lines. Are they just testing them out? Well guess what Old Town, we don't care. Just pick one. It doesn't matter which one cuz they are all terrible. Knock it off (that's twice now i've told you to knock it off).

As angry as the theme of this root beer makes me, i can't say much bad about the taste other than it's pretty standard and nothing special. It's not gross or bad by any means, but lacks a good aftertaste and fades fast. It's sweetened with cane sugar for those of you who care and it has a hint of honey so small that i didn't detect it until i read it on the ingredients and specifically tried to pay attention to tasting it. The carbonation was adequate and the overall experience was something i'm about as eager to revisit as i am my hometown.

My official review is that Old Town Root Beer 66 gets 5 (five) IBCs. This root beer is perfectly average at best. It deserves less praise than i am giving it, but as a fair judge and reviewer of root beers i have no reason to dissuade my readers from trying a refreshing root beer when it's available. It tastes fine. I don't want to kill myself after drinking it. But let's all just please agree that the golden age of the Route 66 is dead and gone. This road should have the same connotations as the Trail of Tears; a shameful embarrassment for our country during a misunderstood time long ago. So let's all just pretend it didn't happen.

Ritz Root Beer

So i had one more generic in my fridge that i needed to get through, and then this is the last one for a while, i promise. Ritz Root Beer is a generic brand from as well as i can tell. I found it at a supermarket here in Florida called Bravo. I think it caters to the Puerto Rican population of Florida. They have some kind of weird stuff in there, including some funky flavors or sodas. I wish i could remember some of them now. I want to say one was ham flavored. I'm sure that's not right, but the flavors available were along those lines. Anyway, i don't have a lot of info about Ritz (the website really wasn't very helpful), but i found this pic
of a really old can of Ritz Root Beer, showing that these guys have either been around a long time or have just very recently upgraded their packaging. It is distributed by Beverage Corporation International out of Miami, FL, and really that's about all the info i have on this one. Sorry... it's just that generic.

Again, i had the option to get this in a 12 pack of cans, but i elected to go with the 3 liter bottle since it was the cheaper option. The label has all the elements of the generic theme to it. It's brown, there is a mug of root beer, and it's fairly plain and straight forward. I don't hate it and it's definitely not the worst label i have seen, but it's not very inspiring either. I kinda had to search to find this one. It didn't just jump out at me like a good label will. But ultimately, i'm not going to hold this one up to high standards. It's simply not top tier stuff.

I wish there was a way to explain the taste besides saying "meh". It doesn't make me want to stab a hobo or smash a kitten, but i can't say it gives me any bad feelings either. Wait... i think that came out wrong. But you get the idea. This stuff is very bland and middle of the road for a root beer. It's sweetened with high fructose corn syrup and leaves a bad aftertaste in your mouth, it's very well carbonated, and it tastes like root beer. Everything about it is just kind of blah. I don't like the aftertaste, but it's nothing i'm unfamiliar with as it is a common side effect of sub par root beers. Other than that, i don't really care one way or the other about it.

My official review is that Ritz Root Beer gets 4 (four) IBCs. It's a very standard generic recipe that can be found by picking up one of many other generic brands. Ultimately i don't care for it and won't be making a trip back to Bravo solely to buy more of this stuff. Now a refreshing glass of ham soda, well... that's another story.

Dougie Dog Butterscotch Root Beer

What?! Two reviews in one month?! I'm on a roll right now. It's been a couple months since i've done more than one review in a month. But i just finished doing a lot of work on my new house, getting it painted and what not, and i figured i would treat myself (and you guys) with a nice refreshing root beer to celebrate. Dougie Dog Butterscotch Root Beer has an interesting story. The founder, a Canadian who calls himself DougieLuv, took a trip across America to research different hot dogs. He made a documentary along the way which he lovingly refers to as a "dogumentary". You clever Canadian you. DougieLuv took his movie and research back up to Vancouver and got a food truck to start serving his creations on the go. The website shows several celebrity endorsements and boasts of the amazing and genuine goodness of these hot dogs. The story sounds like something out of Portlandia, the food truck capital of the world according to imakeupmyownstatistics.com. But to his credit, DougieLuv had the good sense to couple his hot dogs with a crafted root beer. So cheers to you DougieLuv. You've bucked the Canadian tradition of being completely worthless to me. This root beer is one i ordered off either the Soda Emporium or the Root Beer Store. Not really sure which one i got it from and i can't find my cheat sheet (receipt) right now to verify which, so unfortunately i am unsure of which site to give the credit to. However, i fully endorse both sites. They are great. So take your pick of which one you choose to use if you decide to try this root beer out (assuming you don't have access to it locally of course).

This root beer comes in a typical 12 oz. brown glass bottle. The label is plastered with the Dougie Dog logo over a big ROOT BEER text in the background. The label is simple in design, but not cheap or generic looking. It's original, and while doing more to promote the hot dogs than the root beer, it gets the point across. I get it. The guy has to forge his brand, and i've got no problem with that. So i won't fault him for making taking the attention away from the root beer. I just think he's setting a bad example for the youth of America, that's all. What do you have to say to that, CANADIAN?!?!

The thing i left out about the label is probably the key factor regarding the taste. The label prominently displays the fact that this root beer is butterscotch flavored, so it was no surprise when it tasted overwhelmingly of butterscotch disc candies. I mean, there is a base root
beer flavor lingering in there, but it's basically just butterscotch discs.
I think this is the first butterscotch root beer i have reviewed, but it's definitely not a unique twist. I have at least one other root beer in my fridge which is butterscotch flavored and i am sure there are a few (if not several) others out there. I enjoy butterscotch. It was one of my favorite candies as a kid and it was easily my favorite dilly bar flavor. So when you combine it with a root beer flavor, it works out pretty well for me. With the cane sugar, it's a bit sweet. But ultimately, i think it's a well made root beer.

My official review is that Dougie Dog Butterscotch Root Beer gets 6 (six) IBCs. I liked this stuff. it's better than a lot of garbage out there. Maybe one of Canada's "premier" root beers (pun intended). You know i kid you Canada, but it's only cuz i love ya. I wouldn't mind trying out a Dougie Dog if i ever visit Vancouver, which is a place i really would like to visit. And i might as well try the poutine if i travel all that way, cuz i love a good poutine when it's done right. But since i can't promise to do that anytime soon, why don't you all get on up to Vancouver and try out a Dougie Dog for me and give the butterscotch root beer a shot as well.

Brigham's Brew Root Beer

I took a little trip out west this 4th of July weekend and spent some time with my family in Utah and Arizona. While in Salt Lake City i took some time to track down this root beer that i have long known about but was geographically unable to physically obtain. After getting a hot tip on a place that sells this root beer (a little place called Jed's Barber Shop), i talked my brother into driving me down there to pick up a few bottles. It's literally a barber shop and they just happen to sell this root beer. I was kind of expecting an old fashioned candy store and soda fountain shop for some reason. Not sure what i was thinking. Oh... wait.... this is it. But anyway, it's a full blown barber with just a little glass case of refrigerated Brigham's Brew Root Beer for sale. I later found out that i probably didn't need to go to all the trouble to visiting Jed's since this stuff is brewed by the Wasatch Brewery (named after the Wasatch Mountains where all the great ski resorts in SLC are located) and that this stuff is readily available at many locations throughout the valley. The brewery isn't technically in SLC, it's in Park City, but Wasatch Brewery products are stocked in most local grocery stores around the valley (and i may be going out on a limb here, but dare i say throughout the state as well). Three of my brothers live in the SLC area and one of them keeps trying to get me to move there also. I have spent a lot of time up there throughout my life (that's the 3rd time i've said "throughout") and all i can say is that while it's a lovely area and the skiing is terrific, it's really not somewhere i see myself residing. While it's full of friendly people and charming scenery, there are enough things about it that i just don't care for. And for those reasons, SLC will always only be a nice place i sometimes visit.

It's a classic brown glass 12 oz bottle with big picture of the founder of the city of Salt Lake, the state of Utah, and leader of the Mormon migration across the Great Plains, Brigham Young. His iconic picture is pasted on this root beer either satirically or as an homage. I can't decide which. I think if it were a true alcoholic beer, it would be satirical since Mormons preach abstinence from alcohol. But since it's a well known fact that Mormons love root beer, i think i prefer to consider it an homage. Either way, the bottling is stellar. I'm a fan of portraits on root beers, all except for Henry Weinhard's pathetic attempt. Seriously man, you just look desperate.

The one thing that everyone going into this can be rested assure of is that Mormons know what good root beer is, and this my friends is a really good root beer. It's been a while since i've had one i've liked as much as this. First off, it's heavy on the wintergreen, which is a personal favorite of mine. It also has a nice vanilla finish on it which gives a good creamy aftertaste. And for those of you who care, it's sweetened with pure cane sugar. Personally, i think whatever they are doing is working very well. I just wish i didn't live so far away from it now.

My official review is that Brigham's Brew gets 8 (eight) IBCs. It's been quite some time since i've seen one of this caliber. The Wasatch Brewery cooked up a gem with this one. Still, there is some room for improvement. But i mean, 8 is nothing to snub at. Go out and try this stuff guys, seriously. There aren't many around better than this.

Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float

Ok... so i have two things i need to address real quick. First, that last post was a little aggressive. Sorry about that everyone. I think it was just a particularly disappointing root beer in a long string of inadequate root beers. My apologies. Second, i've been reviewing some of the comments and found that i had about 50 or so in various reviews that were spam comments with generic text and a link to some product or service. I have deleted and marked those comments as spam. Knock it off people. This blog takes itself very seriously. Anyway, i have at least one more generic in my fridge, but i wanted to break the cycle and go to some of the bottles i have been storing. I want to get through these before i place my next order for more root beers from various online soda sites. This is one of the ones i got from The Soda Emporium over a year ago. The ironic thing is that i visited a Rocket Fizz candy store location in Thousand Oaks, CA and didn't find this root beer there on the shelves. I had to go online to get it. These Stores are popping up all over.
Ryan and Rob founded the candy store and sell vintage candies and sodas as well as new originals. I actually met Ryan (the guy on the left) on my visit and he strongly encouraged me to open a franchise of my own in Arizona. Unfortunately, i don't have the resources or wherewithal to open and run a candy store, but it looks like these guys are aggressively expanding. There actually is a store open now in Arizona and even one out here in Florida not far from where i now live. Maybe if it's something you're interested in, you should open one.

The clear 12 oz bottle has a foil sticker label with the logo of a kid riding on a rocket around the world and some simple text on it. It looks professional and not cheap or inexpensive. Pictures on the website show that the store locations are often set up with a '50s and '60s spaceman decor. They are really trying to capture the vintage candy crowd. I have no criticism on the label. It's pretty decent.

This root beer is labeled as "Root Beer Float" flavor, but that's a bit of a stretch in my opinion. I don't think it tastes all that creamy, which is one of the defining characteristics of a root beer float. It just kinda tastes like root beer. You can see from the picture of the clear glass bottle that this root beer is fairly translucent and does't have a deep brown color. I usually find root beers in this category to be a little weaker in taste, and i have to say this fits the bill for Rocket Fizz. It's not bad by any means. It's sweetened with pure cane sugar and has a decent root beer flavor (lacking in creaminess i might add). But it's pretty watery and the flavor dissipates quickly. I enjoyed it as i drank it, but was ultimately left a little unsatisfied when it was finished.

My official review is that Rocket Fizz Root Beer Float gets 5 (five) IBCs. I dig what these guys are doing with the candy store. Good for them. It's obviously popular because they are growing like crazy. And i appreciate that they are producing their own original line of sodas, even if one of them is based on Snooki. When producing sodas under your brand, I realize that sometimes this means putting out a product that may not be your top of the line best work just to increase the catalog of available products. But if you're gonna put your name on it i think you should make sure it's gonna change the game. I was hoping for a better showing from you Ryan and Rob. Maybe rethink this one so you can make a root beer that really stands out.

My Essentials Root Beer

You guys have to be getting tired of my incessant apologizing for bringing you terrible reviews of terrible root beers, and of the fact that i keep using my recent move as an excuse, but seriously people... i've been super busy with settling in to a new job and trying to buy a house. I REALLY AM SORRY for reviewing yet another generic crappy root beer, even when i have plenty of unique bottled root beers in my fridge still. But it's just easier this way for now. Besides, most of you stopped reading these a long time ago. I think i'm just doing this for me now. So anyway, this is a root beer i found in a small town south of where i live called Belleview. There is a grocery store in Belleview that i've never seen anywhere else called SweetBay. Through my limited research (zero is a limit), i surmised that My Essentials Root Beer is the generic brand that SweetBay carries. I believe it's also carried by another grocery store i've never heard of called Hanaford's. When tried to google My Essentials Root Beer, i found this to be the most relevant site that wasn't in Russian. I don't know where Hanaford's are, and frankly i don't care. I just want to get this root beer in the books cuz i could care less about it. The only other info i care to report on this one is that it's bottled in North Carolina.

I could have elected to go for cans with this root beer, but i did the 2 liter for reasons i explained in my Publix Root Beer review. Look there if you care for a break down. If you don't, it wont break my heart. The label lacks everything a good label should. It screams generic, and i'm tired of explaining what that means. Just trust me on this one.

I'll get right to it. I hate this stuff. It's not good. It tastes like a diet soda. All i can taste is the weird aftertaste that seems like it's sweetened with aspartame, even though it's sweetened with HFCS. The carbonation is decent, and that's about all i can say thats good about it. The faint root beer flavor is quickly lost in the unpleasant aftertaste. Any redeeming qualities this root beer may have are lost on me. I give My Essentials credit for the fact that i didn't want to murder myself after drinking it, but it's not much better than some of the worst ones out there.

My official review is that My Essentials Root Beer gets 3 (three) IBCs. Consider that rating to be VERY generous on my part. You really don't deserve a 3, but a rating of 2 gives you a place with some of the more infamous root beers i've tried, and i don't think you're worth remembering at all. 

Publix Root Beer

HEEELLLOOO! Writing again from here in sunny Florida where it's just starting to heat up. It hasn't been super muggy yet, but the bugs are definitely starting to make an appearance. I got attacked by a swarm of fire ants the other day, but that's probably mostly due to the fact that i was standing right on top of their mound. I am looking forward to the warm weather to take advantage of the beaches, but the locals say the water is still too cold right now. Anyway, this is the local grocery store's brand of root beer here in Central Florida. I think Publix is actually all over Florida. I've never heard of them before moving here though so i don't know about anywhere else. I tried to find something on their website worth linking, but it's all lame and useless to me. It's just a typical grocery store and this is their brand. If i were less mature i might make fun of the store by referring to it as Pubics, but come on... i have more respect for my readers than that. We're all adults here right? Wait, do kids read this blog?

I got the the 2 liter bottle for reasons which are obvious and have been stated several times before in other reviews. Just for the record though, i will set the precedence for choosing which vessel to purchase a root beer in/consume a root beer from: 1) glass bottle of any size, shape, or color for premium taste and maximum enjoyment. 2) 20 oz plastic bottle for portability and economic value. Resealable top is pretty nice too. 3) 1 liter plastic bottle, same reasons as 20 oz with less portability due to dimensional limitations. 4) 2 liter plastic bottle, same as 1 liter. 5) 12 oz cans in any quantity greater than 1. They may have 4-packs of cans out there, but it doubt it. And a 2-pack just sounds stupid (no offense). A 6-pack or more just gets cumbersome. 6) paper container of any kind. 7) dead hippie's skull. Pro: dead hippie. Con: you gotta put your mouth on it. Anyway, the 2 liter was cheap and easy, so that's what i did. The label is pretty bland. It's right in line with most generics, and therefore i won't say anything else about it. Just look at it and make your own opinion.

This stuff isn't terrible, but it's definitely not great. I know i say that about several root beers, but that's only because most root beers fall into this category. It's drinkable, but not desirable. There are a lot of better choices out there, even here in Central Florida. It has a good root beer aroma with hints of carmel and is well carbonated, but the flavor fades quick and is fairly thin. It's a standard generic root beer. I don't really know how else to put it.

My official review is that Pubics Root Beer gets 5 (five) IBCs. I sometimes feel guilty reviewing these store brands because the story is basically always the same on them, but i really don't feel like i would be doing my job as a root beer reviewer if i simply ignored them. So i will press forward and keep reviewing these menial root beers. I really doubt any of you will care one way or another. In fact, i'm pretty sure no one even reads this blog anymore.