Root Jack Root Beer

Hi everyone, and happy October. I chose to review this root beer this month because at first glance, with the orange decal on the bottle i assumed it was Halloween themed. Well, it turns out it's pirate themed, which is close enough since a lot of people dress like pirates for Halloween these days. That Johnny Depp is so hot right now... Anyway, Root Jack Root Beer is a different breed. It follows the trend of the energy drink, combining a root beer base with an energy drink kick, not unlike Bawls Guarana Root Beer that i reviewed a while back. The story on the website is a story of the fair pirate wench Astrea who created this brew to combat the effects of scurvy. The tale is full of adventure and pirate treachery, but i'll let you read it for yourself if you're interested. As far as how long this root beer has actually been around, what i gather from the website is that it has been around since about 2007 and is bottled in Osceola, IN, a fierce pirate port by all accounts. This is all well and good, but the thing i found of much more interest was an advertisement on the bottle as well as the website for something called Pirates, Vikings, & Knights II. Turns out it's an online video game, and i just so happen to love two things in life; root beer and video games (oh, and my wife). So naturally i was intrigued. Now i haven't played it yet, but from what i gather it's free to download and it's a first-person shooter (FPS) in the genre of old school Doom, or probably more accurately, Unreal Tournament (this game came out in 1999, so UT was probably the standard back then). You probably guessed it, but you can choose between Pirates, Vikings, and Knights to run around and murder each other online. I watched a video, and it seems decent and silly (for example, when the knight talks, it sounds muffled like his helmet is on). There are plenty of cliche phrases thrown around, including some classic Monty Python lines, but it could be fun for those of you interested in looking into it. I most likely will.

The 12 oz brown glass bottle has a good label. I am impressed with Root Jack in that they did a good job with an original logo and what not. The prominent display in the center of the label is a bosomy pirate lass who i can only assume is the notorious Astrea from the Root Jack Tale on the website. She's straddling a cannon in full pirate garb. The label is nearly all in orange on the front, based on the fact that this drink has orange flavoring and vitamin c (which is how it is able to combat scurvy). One thing i thought was interesting about the label is that it contains a warning saying that this drink is "not recommended for children, pregnant women, or those sensitive to caffeine". I assume that's just for legal reasons since it is considered an energy drink, but i still thought it was a funny little addition. All in all, i think it's well done.

As far as the taste, we know that it has an orange flavor, that it contains guarana, and that it's an energy drink masquerading as a root beer. How does that all measure up? Unfortunately not too favorably. It has decent carbonation, which is a plus, but i really don't taste any of the root beer flavor. I do get a very slight hint of the orange flavor, especially when i burp afterward, but overall it mostly just tastes like an energy drink (which i am not all that fond of to begin with). If i were to pin-point it for you, i would say that it tastes like how a craft store's fake flower and potpourri section smells. That's the image that comes to my mind with each drink i take. Or is it those really bad decorative soaps? Either way, i'm unable to shake it. It's unsettling and ultimately i don't like it. Too bad, cuz this one had a lot of potential.

My official review is that Root Jack gets 4 (four) IBCs. I don't want to rip on them too much cuz i think they had a decent idea, but ultimately i am not one for the energy drinks. It's not undrinkable, but i almost feel like i am being punished with each drink i take, like i am washing my own mouth out with soap. I even looked to give extra points cuz i thought the liquid itself might be orange colored, but it's simply the regular root beer color. Oh well, better luck next time guys. My suggestion would be focus more on making it taste like a root beer and less of an energy drink. But at least i can check out this new online video game. In fact, i think i'll do that now (instead of homework).

Jenn, don't be mad at me. And i love you. And root beer and video games.

America's Choice Root Beer

I am gonna do a quick one for this root beer. It's called America's Choice Root Beer, and it's a brand owned by the A&P grocery store chain that is popular in the Midwest and on the east coast. I had to make a deal with my root beer nemesis to get my hands on this since we don't have A&P's here in Arizona, or any of the surrounding states to the best of my knowledge, but i actually have visited an A&P about 10 years ago in Brampton, ON, Canada. All i remember is that it was kinda expensive (and considering i was using Canadian dollars and the exchange rate was much more in our favor at the time, that's saying something). So much like any grocery store, they have their own brand of sodas. The source of all truth says that the brand was started in the 1990s, so i'll go with that. And i don't have much of a website, except this link for an online shopping and pickup service for a specific A&P in New Jersey. But other than that, i didn't do much research on this thing as it's a pretty unremarkable root beer.

As you can see, it's a 2 liter bottle with a brown label with little to no imagination. There is a root beer mug decal, not unlike several other labels i have seen on different brands. The America's Choice logo is posted at the top of the label, and the flavor is typed below in big, Helvetica print (p.s. i actually watched an entire documentary about the font type Helvetica, cuz i have that kind of time). Nothing else to it though. I find myself straining to come up with a way to describe this label, and i hate to strain, so i won't. Just see for yourself in the picture above.

Ok, i know i am blazing through this post like i have other things to do, but it's true... i have other things to do (namely, video games). But you might get the impression from this half hearted review that this stuff is no good. On the contrary, this stuff is quite good. How good? A&W good. The fact that it's unremarkable is due to the fact that it tastes just like A&W. And why the heck not, right? A&W is a good root beer. I said it with Parker's and i'll say it again; if you're gonna rip off a flavor, you might as well rip off a good one. So there you have it. I don't have much else to say about this root beer.

My official review is that America's Choice gets 7 (seven) IBCs. I gave Parker's a 7 because i gave A&W a 7, and i'm giving this one a 7 because i gave Parker's a 7. It is very inexpensive from the posting on the website i linked. Only $1 for a 2 liter. But again, it's not that i didn't enjoy the taste of this root beer, there was just no originality to win me over with. Oh well, in the end it still got a very good rating (as far as my rating system goes). Congrats America's Choice. I'm probably giving you more credit than you deserve.

Wild Harvest Natural Root Beer

School has started for me again for a new semester, and my schedule is just as busy as ever. With all my down time this summer, i really didn't do much for root beer reviewing (other than mail ordering and traveling the continental U.S. to obtain new root beers). But i don't want to get behind now that school has started for me again. I picked up this little root beer at an Albertson's in Huntington Beach when my wife and i took our little weekend trip over to California. Wild Harvest is a natural root beer and falls into the category of those sweetened with real cane sugar. The company is kind of like an organic conglomerate of farmers, mostly in California, but from all over the U.S., Canada, and even internationally. I looked briefly through the site trying to find a date when and exact origin where the soda was created, but it's kind of hard to get that kind of cold data from the website (I did see that it is currently distributed from Eden Prairie, MN, for what it's worth). And for any further details... well, i will leave that investigative journalism to you fine folks, if you feel so inclined. These guys have an approach which is very similar to that of an interesting documentary my wife and i watched called Food, Inc. I don't get too caught up in that kind of stuff, but i will say it's interesting to think about if nothing else. It just seems so hard to eat healthy, but i think with the whole green movement and the global warming marketing scam going on that organic food is catching on in a big way. I'm telling you, going green sells.

I picked this root beer up in a 6-pack of cans. Not sure if it's packaged any other way, but i would highly doubt an opportunity to try this stuff from a glass bottle. No big deal though. I have my preferences, but i'll take what i can get. The Wild Harvest logo is accompanied by an image of a frothy mug of root beer and the typical natural/organic mumbo jumbo you can find pasted on a root beer label. Its design is not unlike several other labels of natural root beers i have seen. 365 Root Beer comes to mind, as well as Santa Cruz Organic. So it's nothing overly novel or exciting. I don't expect too much these days, though it's been a while since a root beer label really knocked my socks off.

Wild Harvest makes only 4 flavors of soda, root beer being one of them. And as far as taste is concerned, i gotta say... it's not too shabby. Not what i expected from an organic root beer. The fact that it's sweetened with cane sugar is a big step in the right direction. Unlike Zevia. Are you kidding me? That stuff tastes awful. And for those of you who left me comments on my Zevia post... i rarely do this ever, but i will respond briefly... Quit kidding yourself that it's "healthy". Try drinking natural fruit juice or purified water if you want healthy. I want good tasting root beer. If it's a ginger beer, call it a ginger beer (which i also like, and which Zevia tastes nothing like). But don't call whatever that crap is a good ol' fashioned root beer. What Wild Harvest has to offer was a surprisingly tasty root beer. The root beer flavor is fairly subtle, but still there. It also has a bit of a pepper aftertaste to it, which sounds weird, but think Dr. Pepper and you'll know what i mean. It really works quite well though. I have to say, it's definitely one of the best natural/organic root beers i've tried.

My official review is Wild Harvest gets 6 (six) IBCs. For a natural root beer, that's very good. I mean, let's be honest... it's not my first choice. Nowhere close. But i'll give credit where credit is due. If Wild Harvest operates the way they claim to, then they make a fine root beer product with the business model they have. It's not bad.

Oh, and hippie from Seattle... sorry to hear that you sold your soul to use the Internet and respond to my Zevia post. Heavens knows it must have killed you to up your carbon offset by consuming the electricity to power your computer. Zevia sucks. I RULE!

Dr. McGillicuddy's Old-Fashioned Root Beer

I ordered this root beer along with several others from a website called sodapopswarehouse. This silly little root beer with a funny name comes with a bit of a funny personal story, but i don't really feel like sharing it with you. You'll have to ask me to tell you about it at another time. So anyway, Dr. McGillicuddy's root beer is one of the few things made by the company that isn't a hard liquor, specifically schnapps. How the fine doctor parlayed this into a line of root beer is beyond me. The doctor's name is given on the site as Dr. Aloysuis Percival McGillicuddy, born 1808, and from all accounts is a fictional character used only for marketing, joining the ranks of Tony the Tiger and Joe Camel. The company that makes Dr. McGillicuddy's was bought in 1870 by a man named Thomas H. Handy, but it is unclear when the good doctor began making root beer. Most of the site is devoted to the schnapps aspect of the company, which likely is their bread and butter. However, i feel it was kind of them to put out a root beer so that i might review it for the masses.

The brown 12 oz. glass bottle is nothing out of the ordinary. The clear sticker label is very basic also. Only one color is used, a kind of beige/cream color for the entire label. As you can see, lots of text with a few different font styles relays the message that this is indeed a root beer you are drinking. Overall though, it's quite lack luster and there is nothing fantastic about it.

However, what Dr. McGillicuddy's lacks in label innovation, he makes up for in taste. This is a GOOD root beer. Not the best, but it's one of those that pops out of a sea of ordinary to sweep you off your feet. My wife particularly enjoyed it, saying that it tastes like Delta in-flight airline cookies (which, if you've ever flown anywhere with my wife, you will know she thoroughly enjoys because she won't stop talking about them until the plane lands). My description isn't that specific, but i would say that it has a mellow, kind of underwhelming root beer flavor combined with some smooth vanilla and a touch of minty-ness for a fantastic aftertaste. It's not as carbonated as i usually like, but it's not too shabby. Overall, i would definitely say it's the best root beer made by a doctor, and there are quite a few doctors putting out root beers these days...

My official review is that Dr. McGillicuddy's gets 8 (eight) IBCs. In reality, it's probably more like a 7, but i let my wife influence me and talk me into at least giving it an 8. But regardless, it's a good root beer, and one i suggest you try if you're anywhere near a bottle.

Wegman's Fountain Root Beer

This post has been long over due considering i have several root beers in my fridge to review. I don't even really have an excuse. Just that i was busy. So whatever... mind your own business. But anyway, i hope to keep this thing a little more up to date while i have some time off from school (less than a month before it starts again). So with that, let's get down to it... I did a bit of wheelin' and dealin' with my root beer nemesis to get my hands on this one. We did an east coast/west coast exchange program (although Phoenix isn't really considered the west coast). Wegmans, from what i can tell, is a grocery store based out of Rochester, NY and located in several states in the northeast. However, on the label this root beer claims to be a "product of Canada". I personally have never heard of Wegmans, but they make and sell Wegmans Fountain Root Beer. Not sure how long they have been making this stuff, but from general appearances, it's just another generic store brand root beer. Nothing to it. Or is there? Let's just find out.

This root beer came in a 2 liter bottle, but i can't image it would be hard to find this in a 12 oz can either. Anyway, the label has a wooden decal background, like that of a root beer barrel, if you will, and the Wegmans logo is pasted right across the front with a picture of a mug of root beer. Nothing outrageous about it. Modern, catchy, and perfectly adaquate. Not much else to say about it.

This stuff is a generic store brand, so it has nothing fancy or mysterious to it. It is sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, contains several artificial flavors and preservatives, and is very well carbonated. However, it also manages to be gluten free, lactose free, caffeine free, and vegan approved. So if any of that stuff matters to you, then that's good to know. Why am i telling you this? Because the root beer tastes just like a root beer should. It's good. I would even say very good, in a very unoriginal and uninspiring way. It's sweet and has a great root beer flavor, and the high carbonation gives it quite a bite (sorry Barq's, but it's true). I even tried it with some ice cream and made a root beer float, not that this was suggested or recommended on the label, but more just because i had the ice cream in my freezer and i thought it might be good. Honestly though, it wasn't amazing. I think i just like the root beer more by itself.

My official review is that Wegmans Fountain Root Beer gets 6 (six) IBCs. I'll admit, this review was probably fairly boring to read. I know there isn't much sparkle to this root beer, but it's a valiant effort. I like it quite a bit, but i couldn't justify giving it any higher than a 6. It's good though, and i would say very similar in taste to A&W, although A&W is much more creamy. Not bad though for what it is. You right coast weirdos probably already know all about this stuff, so i don't have to tell you about it, but anyone not familiar with it i would say it's worth trying out. Cheers.

JJ Lazlo's Real Draft Root Beer

Hello out there root beer lovers! You will be pleased to know that my much needed free time this summer has been spent hunting down more root beers to review and i currently have a good stash built up. It should last me a while, so don't fret little ones.

This root beer was luckily right here in my own backyard. I made a trip to the Pop Shop just to see if there might be something new, and i found this, JJ Lazlo's Real Draft Root Beer. You may not be able to tell from the picture, but the bottle is bigger than your standard fair. It's the same 22 oz bottle that Sonoran comes in. Coincidence? Not really. The hippie at the counter told me that the guy who brews Sonoran sold the recipe and started JJ Lazlo's, so it's brewed right here in the Valley of the Sun (that's Phoenix and the surrounding suburbs for all of you who may not be familiar). When i talked to Zach, one of the brew masters for Sonoran, he mentioned that they were working on something else. However, the brew master for JJ's is named Scott. Not sure what their relationship is to one another. But i give JJ's some props for their involvement with local schools here. There is a page on their website dedicated to fundraising. You can see pictures of root beer labels drawn by little kids. These labels were put on bottles of root beer and the money earned from the sales went to directly to the school. So that's neat. Well done. JJ's is also looking at making three more flavors of soda, but for now just the root beer is available. You can see details on the website if you really care.

As i already mentioned, the bottle is the same 22 oz bottle that Sonoran comes in. The label for this bottle of JJ Lazlo's was not made by a grade school kid. It looks to have been made on a computer, or at least drawn by hand and then scanned onto a computer and just printed off on sticker paper by any run of the mill ink jet color printer. I'm sure it saves money and i know the guy is just getting it started up, so it may change in the future. The Sonoran label is much more sleek and slick, so maybe it will go that route once Scott gets himself more established. As you can see in the picture, the label features a cool dude with his fedora pulled down low over his eyes. Kinda the old gangster vibe or something. Decent i suppose. I don't have any complaints really.

One of the other things that the hippie in the Pop Shop told me is that since these root beers were made by the same people, that they are almost exactly alike. First of all, my credo is "Nunquam Fides a Hippie", which is latin for, "Never Trust a Hippie". So i decided to put his little theory to the test and taste tested Sonoran and JJ Lazlo's side by side. And as i suspected, that hippie is a filthy liar. It is true they use a lot of the same ingredients (including cane sugar) and both don't have much carbonation, but they taste pretty distinctly different. The JJ Lazlo's label claims a smooth vanilla flavor, but i get more of a honey taste than vanilla, like a lighter version of Thomas Kemper's flavor. Sonoran is more sweet than JJ's, and i still maintain Sonoran tastes like smarties candies. They are both decently good, but taste quite different. One other thing the label of JJ Lazlo's mentions is that it is great over a scoop of ice cream. So my wife and i decided to put that claim to the test also and made a couple root beer floats with this stuff. And it's true, JJ's over ice cream = good, but i think that was mostly due to the ice cream. All in all though, it's a fairly good root beer.


My official review is that JJ Lazlo's gets 6 (six) IBCs. I like that it's made locally and that they work with schools. That's kind of a neat little project, and it indoctrinates kids at a young age of the splendor of root beer. So that's something i can get behind. But ultimately, i think i like Sonoran's flavor more. Just by a little bit though. I still have a hard time getting behind the honey flavor. And it's not over powering, but it's still pretty prominent. So since i gave Sonoran 7 IBCs, it only makes sense to give JJ Lazlo's 6 IBCs. That's still a decent rating though, and i say if you get a chance, grab some of this stuff. It's not bad.

Zevia Natural Ginger Root Beer

Just a brief update, i've made some good strides in obtaining some new root beers to review now that school is out for the summer and i have more time to devote to this important task. I had to order some online, plan to do some light traveling to a couple states to pick some up personally, and even made a few "deals with the devil", if you will. But the good news is that my supply will increase, which ultimately means that you, my gentile readers, will not have to wander through the root beer wasteland without some much needed guidance.

Anyway, Zevia comes from Seattle, WA and from the best i can gather, it started around 2009. Honestly, this root beer (if you can call it that) wasn't really worth doing all that much research on. Feel free to do it on your own if you really care to. Today's featured root beer was found at the local Whole Foods grocery store, which means it's another one of our wonderful "natural" root beers. Which means it's not good. Which means you shouldn't bother with it. Not much reason to keep reading this review now, is there? My bet is that you will anyway.

I picked up a 6-pack of this soda, which is unfortunate because it ran me about $6. Not the cheapest stuff out there. There are several flavors of Zevia distinguished by the color of the can. The label on each is identical (except for the name of the flavor of course). There is a bit drop of something on the label with a couple little leaves dotting the "i" in Zevia. The wavy parallel lines on the background of the label remind me of Max Headroom, which is either totally awesome or completely lame based upon your childhood memories of the TV show. But other than that, i don't really have much of an opinion about the label. It's fine i suppose. Nothing to write home about though.

Zevia's website focuses largely on educating people what stevia is, which is the plant Zevia gets its sweetener from. As a result, it does not contain sugar OR high fructose corn syrup. If you're truly interested in what stevia is, Zevia has a page on thier site dedicated to the topic. Feel free to browse it for yourself, but since i don't plan to ever drink this crap again, i am going to go ahead and not care what stevia is. Basically, Zevia tastes like nothing with an aftertaste of gross. It largely just tastes like soda water. The gross aftertaste i allude to is likely the crushed hopes and dreams of countless hippies in Seattle congregating to exact revenge on the masses. I don't taste root beer, i don't taste ginger; all i taste is dissatisfaction with my purchase.

My official review is that Zevia gets 2 (two) IBCs. Very disappointing, but then again, i kind of expected it being a natural soda and all. All i can say is that outside of going to school and reviewing root beers, i spend most of my time preparing for the zombie apocalypse, and that entails stocking up on quality root beer. Let's just say Zevia won't be in my bunker with 10 inch thick reinforced concrete walls.