JJ Lazlo's Real Draft Root Beer

Hello out there root beer lovers! You will be pleased to know that my much needed free time this summer has been spent hunting down more root beers to review and i currently have a good stash built up. It should last me a while, so don't fret little ones.

This root beer was luckily right here in my own backyard. I made a trip to the Pop Shop just to see if there might be something new, and i found this, JJ Lazlo's Real Draft Root Beer. You may not be able to tell from the picture, but the bottle is bigger than your standard fair. It's the same 22 oz bottle that Sonoran comes in. Coincidence? Not really. The hippie at the counter told me that the guy who brews Sonoran sold the recipe and started JJ Lazlo's, so it's brewed right here in the Valley of the Sun (that's Phoenix and the surrounding suburbs for all of you who may not be familiar). When i talked to Zach, one of the brew masters for Sonoran, he mentioned that they were working on something else. However, the brew master for JJ's is named Scott. Not sure what their relationship is to one another. But i give JJ's some props for their involvement with local schools here. There is a page on their website dedicated to fundraising. You can see pictures of root beer labels drawn by little kids. These labels were put on bottles of root beer and the money earned from the sales went to directly to the school. So that's neat. Well done. JJ's is also looking at making three more flavors of soda, but for now just the root beer is available. You can see details on the website if you really care.

As i already mentioned, the bottle is the same 22 oz bottle that Sonoran comes in. The label for this bottle of JJ Lazlo's was not made by a grade school kid. It looks to have been made on a computer, or at least drawn by hand and then scanned onto a computer and just printed off on sticker paper by any run of the mill ink jet color printer. I'm sure it saves money and i know the guy is just getting it started up, so it may change in the future. The Sonoran label is much more sleek and slick, so maybe it will go that route once Scott gets himself more established. As you can see in the picture, the label features a cool dude with his fedora pulled down low over his eyes. Kinda the old gangster vibe or something. Decent i suppose. I don't have any complaints really.

One of the other things that the hippie in the Pop Shop told me is that since these root beers were made by the same people, that they are almost exactly alike. First of all, my credo is "Nunquam Fides a Hippie", which is latin for, "Never Trust a Hippie". So i decided to put his little theory to the test and taste tested Sonoran and JJ Lazlo's side by side. And as i suspected, that hippie is a filthy liar. It is true they use a lot of the same ingredients (including cane sugar) and both don't have much carbonation, but they taste pretty distinctly different. The JJ Lazlo's label claims a smooth vanilla flavor, but i get more of a honey taste than vanilla, like a lighter version of Thomas Kemper's flavor. Sonoran is more sweet than JJ's, and i still maintain Sonoran tastes like smarties candies. They are both decently good, but taste quite different. One other thing the label of JJ Lazlo's mentions is that it is great over a scoop of ice cream. So my wife and i decided to put that claim to the test also and made a couple root beer floats with this stuff. And it's true, JJ's over ice cream = good, but i think that was mostly due to the ice cream. All in all though, it's a fairly good root beer.


My official review is that JJ Lazlo's gets 6 (six) IBCs. I like that it's made locally and that they work with schools. That's kind of a neat little project, and it indoctrinates kids at a young age of the splendor of root beer. So that's something i can get behind. But ultimately, i think i like Sonoran's flavor more. Just by a little bit though. I still have a hard time getting behind the honey flavor. And it's not over powering, but it's still pretty prominent. So since i gave Sonoran 7 IBCs, it only makes sense to give JJ Lazlo's 6 IBCs. That's still a decent rating though, and i say if you get a chance, grab some of this stuff. It's not bad.

Zevia Natural Ginger Root Beer

Just a brief update, i've made some good strides in obtaining some new root beers to review now that school is out for the summer and i have more time to devote to this important task. I had to order some online, plan to do some light traveling to a couple states to pick some up personally, and even made a few "deals with the devil", if you will. But the good news is that my supply will increase, which ultimately means that you, my gentile readers, will not have to wander through the root beer wasteland without some much needed guidance.

Anyway, Zevia comes from Seattle, WA and from the best i can gather, it started around 2009. Honestly, this root beer (if you can call it that) wasn't really worth doing all that much research on. Feel free to do it on your own if you really care to. Today's featured root beer was found at the local Whole Foods grocery store, which means it's another one of our wonderful "natural" root beers. Which means it's not good. Which means you shouldn't bother with it. Not much reason to keep reading this review now, is there? My bet is that you will anyway.

I picked up a 6-pack of this soda, which is unfortunate because it ran me about $6. Not the cheapest stuff out there. There are several flavors of Zevia distinguished by the color of the can. The label on each is identical (except for the name of the flavor of course). There is a bit drop of something on the label with a couple little leaves dotting the "i" in Zevia. The wavy parallel lines on the background of the label remind me of Max Headroom, which is either totally awesome or completely lame based upon your childhood memories of the TV show. But other than that, i don't really have much of an opinion about the label. It's fine i suppose. Nothing to write home about though.

Zevia's website focuses largely on educating people what stevia is, which is the plant Zevia gets its sweetener from. As a result, it does not contain sugar OR high fructose corn syrup. If you're truly interested in what stevia is, Zevia has a page on thier site dedicated to the topic. Feel free to browse it for yourself, but since i don't plan to ever drink this crap again, i am going to go ahead and not care what stevia is. Basically, Zevia tastes like nothing with an aftertaste of gross. It largely just tastes like soda water. The gross aftertaste i allude to is likely the crushed hopes and dreams of countless hippies in Seattle congregating to exact revenge on the masses. I don't taste root beer, i don't taste ginger; all i taste is dissatisfaction with my purchase.

My official review is that Zevia gets 2 (two) IBCs. Very disappointing, but then again, i kind of expected it being a natural soda and all. All i can say is that outside of going to school and reviewing root beers, i spend most of my time preparing for the zombie apocalypse, and that entails stocking up on quality root beer. Let's just say Zevia won't be in my bunker with 10 inch thick reinforced concrete walls.

Oogave Root Beer

I got lucky on an errand i was running and stumbled across a new root beer to review. Oogave Root Beer hails from Denver, CO. Although it was created in 2005 by a guy named Esteban Anson, it wasn't bottled and distributed until January of 2009. If you care to read more about the conception and birth of this root beer, you can check out the website. It's not very interesting though (i.e. lack of explosions, saving kittens from burning building, etc.) I was at Whole Foods when i found it, which may give you an inclination as to what kind of root beer this is; the natural kind. I have a brother that lives in Denver now. He moved there from Flagstaff. So basically he just transferred from one hippie haven to another. They have definitely influenced him a lot over the past decade or so. I worry about him.

It comes in a clear glass bottle and the label is a clear sticker with a simple design on it. The name "oogave" is a variation of the word "agave", which is a plant native to the southwest that many of us who live in this region are very familiar with. So the label has a little decal of agave leaves above the oo in oogave, so it looks like a pair of eyes and a spikey haircut. Clever i suppose. Other than that, it's a pretty bland label. All the writing is in white and yellow text, and the rest of the label is just transparent. It's a new root beer in the bottling business though, so maybe the label with mature with time.

Addendum: I was actually just in the Pop Shop today and saw a case of Oogave with different labels. Much more grown up and sophisticated. Well done Esteban. However, the initial ranking remains the same. Sorry stupid.

I'll just remind you all that i am a fan of very very few natural root beers. This one doesn't quite make the cut either. It's not bad tasting and has moderate carbonation, but it doesn't even really taste like root beer. If i were to relate it to another natural root beer, i would say it's very close in taste to Dr. Tima's, which is heavy on the honey flavor. Although honey is not explicitly listed in the ingredients on the oogave label, the flavor does come across fairly strongly. From the story on the website, Esteban looked to use agave nectar as a replacement for processed sugar or high fructose corn syrup. I think the honey flavor may come from the agave nectar. But anyway, it is a healthier soda option for those of you concerned about that. In fact, it is certified organic, kosher, and vegan-approved, all of which make it that much less appealing. Again, the root beer flavor doesn't come across at all, but that's pretty typical of a lot of natural root beers.


My official review is that Oogave gets 3 (three) IBCs. Unless you're a dirty snaggletooth, i don't think you'll like this that much either. But there is still a market for those people out there who really love this kind of natural stuff. I can respect the fact that they don't want to put processed and chemically altered food into their bodies, but where i think they fall short is by lying to themselves and others by telling them products like this actually tastes just as good or better. You all know someone like this. And whether it's organic soda, or ice cream, or tofu, it's your duty to let them know they are simply wrong. Sorry, but it's true. Really though, I don't think you should bother with this root beer if you come across it.

Margo's Bark Root Beer

I'm sitting at home after a long day of work and school contemplating my root beer future right now. This is the last one in the bullpen, kids. I have no other root beers on deck, and that is making me consider doing something against all my morals and better judgement. I may actually need to seek assistance from my root beer nemesis, which will most likely prove to be a terrible mistake. But i'm getting desperate at this point. To be continued...

On a side note, i am enjoying this root beer with some left over pizza from the renowned Pizzeria Bianco in downtown Phoenix. It's a pretty amazing place. I won't get into the details (you can look at their website for those), but essentially, it was started and ran by one guy who does everything by hand with just a few other workers. He ran the place for years and used authentic recipes with ingredients he grew right there on the property. The food is good and the draw is huge. The doors open at 5:00 PM and a line starts forming literally around 3:00 PM. It's a small place with only a few tables, so you usually have to wait a while, but it's in a neat, quaint part of downtown Phoenix and it's a fun atmosphere and everything. My wife and i waited 2 & 1/2 hours to be seated, but it was a good time. I've been told that Oprah flies to Phoenix just to eat there. And no, i don't mean she's magical. She flies on an airplane just like everyone else.

Anyway, today's featured root beer is Margo's Bark root beer from Los Angeles, CA. The website is well put together, the whole operation looks relatively new. I haven't gotten an official date on when it started, but from all accounts, it seems like this stuff has only been around since about June of last year (2009, for all you time travelers). The story is pretty neat and the drive behind it is compelling too. Oscar, a 7-year-old boy in LA, made homemade root beer for a school science project and it turns out people liked it so much that the family decided to start bottling it. Oscar named his root beer Margo's Bark after the family dog. The dog was adopted after being abandoned, and the proceeds of the root beer sales go to help fund dog shelters. So that's a nice little story. This root beer also makes me think of a really awesome band my wife and i enjoy called Margo and the Nuclear So and So's. Seriously, they are good and put on a fantastic live show. Check them out.

The bottle is your standard 12 oz. glass bottle. The label is dark in color with the name of the root beer written in kid's writing (presumably by Oscar), and there is a picture of Margo on the label. I am not good with dog breeds, so looking at the picture i would have said Margo is most likely a rottweiler. But as it turns out, the website states that Margo is indeed a black lab-pit bull mix. And of course, there is again mention on the label that the proceeds from sales go to dog shelters. One other notable thing about the bottle is that it is one of the few that i have encountered without a twist off cap. I had to break out my complimentary http://www.sodasamuri.com/ bottle opener, which has turned out to be a serious piece of garbage.

As soon as i got the cap off, i was overwhelmed with the scent of rich molasses. And indeed, that's what the root beer's dominant flavor is. But i gotta say, this stuff isn't too bad. It doesn't taste too much like a gingersnap cookie, which was my problem with the last molasses flavored root beer i had. And i gotta give them credit for keeping a good amount of carbonation even after sitting in my fridge for several months now. Still, there isn't anything really knocking my socks off by this stuff. I am assuming the recipe has been refined from it's original 7-year-old inventor's attempts. I don't even know what it is missing or what it would take to take this stuff from good to great. But the fact remains that it can still be improved upon. Not bad though, not bad at all.

My official review is that Margo's Bark gets 6 (six) IBCs. For all you dog lovers out there, i think you could really get behind this stuff. It's good and it goes to a good cause. I am by no means in favor of neglecting animals or anything, but i don't get all crazy about dogs like a lot of people do. I've never been much of a pet person. Nonetheless, i can respect what these guys are doing. So grab a bottle and check this stuff out for yourself. It's decent.

Red Ribbon Root Beer

i hate to break it to you folks, but i am quickly running out of options. i am always on the lookout for new root beers to review, and i appreciate those of you who have offered suggestions. I will keep doing my best to bring you my reliable and honest opinion since you are desperately in need of it. It might be a bit slow for a while though. i don't have very many prospects on the horizon, as even mail ordering new brews is becoming harder for me. Anyway, enough of that. You came here for info on root beer, so let's get down to it. This root beer is called Red Ribbon Root Beer. It has been around since 1904 and hails from Natrona, PA. The name of the company is even Natrona Bottling. The website history section tells of a small company managed by the owner for several decades. I get the feeling they are struggling in their effort to fight the Coca-Cola and Pepsi companies of the world. But they seem to have pride in their work, and i suppose that's gotta be worth something. I think this needs to be brought up though... this picture is featured on their website, presumably from the days when the company was bought by it's current owner's brother in 1939. I don't know who the two men in the photo are, but all i can say is... it looks a little gay. Now, i don't have any problems with gay people, and to be as publicly open as these two were back then takes guts. Gays didn't exactly get preferential treatment back then. Maybe that's where the company gets all it's pride.

The bottle is simple, and so is the label, but i don't blame 'em. They are a small and presumably struggling company, so they gotta make this stuff on the cheap in order to make a profit. It's a simple clear glass bottle, and the label isn't anything fancy. Just the name of the root beer, a few different font types used, some pictures of root beer mugs, etc. Mind you, it at least has more imagination than Olde Rhode Island Root Beer. But suffice it to say, it covers the basics and that's all that needs to be done. No big deal, really.

The list of ingredients on the label are just a simple as the label itself. The root beer isn't bad. But just as the ingredients suggest, there isn't much to it. This root beer is sweetened with sugar instead of HFCS, and the taste reflects that. But even the root beer flavor itself is kind of weak. It's in there, but it's very subtle. At least this root beer isn't flat like most i have had from a clear glass bottle. So it deserves at least some credit for not falling into too much of the cliche.

My official review is that Red Ribbon gets 5 (five) IBCs. It's not a root beer i'd go out of my way for, but i feel like small companies like this deserve a break. So if you're in an area where this stuff is served and you'd like to give it a shot, i say what the heck. It's not like this stuff is gonna turn you gay, right?

Wait... this won't turn me gay, will it? Cuz i don't think my wife would like that.

Hank's Root Beer

I am really bad at keeping up on these recently, but i am also a busy boy. However, this is a review that has needed to happen for a long time. The root beer on the docket today is Hank's Gourmet Root Beer, from Philadelphia, PA. Hank's has only been around since 1996, but the company that makes Hank's has been around for over 40 now. I knew a kid named Hank in grade school. He had a flat top. And glasses. And he was kinda over weight.
... Anyway, let's talk root beer.

I like the bottle. It's not typical and has a cool shape to it. I know that's not much of a description, but that's about as good as i can do. The label is cool too. It's kind of a metallic, gold color sticker that looks like an old coin that has been found and slightly polished up. I'd say to just look at the picture, but i realize it's kind of dark and may not do the bottle and label justice very well. But it passes the test as a respectable member of the memorable root beers club (which isn't a real club, but i think you get my point). By the way, i have a Chinese professor right now for one of my classes with a thick accent, and when he says the word "member", it sounds like "man bear". And that, of course, makes me think of Manbearpig. It's very distracting during lectures.

Now, i realize it seems like i have already been talking this thing up a lot, but i don't want to give anyone the impression that this is the greatest root beer in the world. However, it's still a really good root beer. Nothing really sets it apart much from the others though. It is well carbonated and has a solid root beer flavor with some good vanilla undertones. I'm not sure what it is that makes me think this stuff is so good though. Maybe it's the packaging, the solid taste, or the way it makes me think of a chubby, flat topped grade school boy (but not like in a sexual way or anything, cuz he's not sexy at all). Well whatever it is, it's working for me.

My official review is that Hank's gets 7 (seven) IBCs. For me, a 7 is a solid rating, and i have probably had plenty of other root beers just as good as Hank's that didn't get a 7. So what makes the difference? I couldn't tell you. It's just how it has to be i guess. Maybe you can try it and give me your opinion. Perhaps it will sway my decision.

But probably not...

Americana Root Beer

I had a bit of a bad bout with my computer recently but luckily i have a backup. So it's back to business as usual i suppose. New root beers are becoming harder and harder to come by. However, thanks to a site called Soda Pop Stop (not sure if i have already mentioned and/or linked it), i have several root beers on hand that i am trying to space out somewhat to preserve the long running status of this blog (over one year). This root beer is an old timey American classic, which is why it bears the name Americana. This drink is part of the Orca Beverage Inc. and hails from Mukilteo, WA. Orca also distributes several other brands of soda. Americana also comes in black cherry and honey lime ginger flavor, the later of which sounds like it would be delicious in a salsa with some tacos. Not sure if it translates that well though, but if you find the desire, i urge you to try it and let me know how it is.

The 12 oz. brown glass bottle is draped in a simple but bold label adorned with the American flag and some flagrant font. (Speaking of font, my wife and i rented a documentary called Helvetica, which is about the origin and application of this majestic font. I haven't seen it yet, but i am sure it's fantastic. Check it out today.) Simple colors of red, white, and blue act proudly yet somberly to convey the message that this root beer's patriotism is evident from start to finish. It's not over bearing, but it makes the point clear that this root beer would gladly die for it's country if the cause of freedom were in jeopardy. Noble, i suppose, but in the end, i think it just plays to the sentimentality of old people. But i digress.

Webster.com (one of my favorite websites) defines Americana as, "materials concerning or characteristic of America, its civilization, or its culture; broadly: things typical of Amercia". So to me, if you name your root beer Americana, it had better taste like things prevalent in American culture, like apple pie, baseball, and wearing out your welcome. However, the thing is tastes like most to me is molasses. The bottle does say that Americana is made with pure cane sugar, but i wasn't expecting it to be a thick, dark molasses flavor permeating the experience. It's not unbearable, but i don't particularly care for the taste of molasses. My wife tells me that is tastes like a bad gingerbread cookie, the key ingredient in gingerbread being molasses (i would have thought it would be ginger, but whatever). The taste is fairly sharp and gives me no room to find anything else appealing about the root beer. And frankly, i don't know how molasses flavor is supposed to speak to the sentimentality of American culture, past or present. Of course, i am not very versed on the history of molasses in our country, so if any of you, my loyal readers, care to shed some light on this, i would be a willing student. But basically, i think Americana has missed the mark.

My official review is that Americana gets 4 (four) IBCs. It's not great, and with a name like Americana it's supposed to make me think of a better, simpler time. It doesn't though. It makes me think, "now what am i supposed to do to get this taste out of my mouth?" And i'm not a marketing expert or a research and development guru, but i am pretty sure a root beer wants people to want to drink more of it.

BTW... Someone should tell that to the Journey Root Beer guys, cuz that stuff is awful.