Something a little different...

Ok, so remember i was talking about the Pop Shop that i visit from time to time to get root beers for reviewing? Well we made another quick trip the other night, and as promised i am delivering some picks of the place so you can see what a classy joint it is.

There are only three aisles, so it's a small place. The back wall is lined with coolers so you can get a lot of your favorites cold. It's a neat place. (That's right Alisha, i said "neat".) They have sodas in here literally from all over the world. Lots of common names you are used to and even more obscure ones. Funny sodas, joke sodas, novelty sodas, you name it. One of my favorites is called Leninade. It's not a root beer, so i won't review it, but i like it a lot.

This is one of the root beer sections. The bottles are sold individually right out of the case, which is nice. It's much more convenient for me since i don't need to buy an entire six-pack to review a root beer. So i often go in and grab a six-pack of 6 different brands and i'm good to go. Quite nice.

This place is just wall to wall with sodas, and they pile them all the way up to the ceiling. It's small, kinda dumpy, and again, run by hippies. But i can put that aside usually since i don't spend too much time in there when i am there. If you're close to it, then i suggest you drive out there and check it out. It's cool. If not, they ship all over the U.S. So spend some time on their site. They've got a huge selection.

Route 66 Root Beer

Route 66 Root Beer began being brewed in 1996 under the Route 66 Soda & Bottling Co., so it's a relative "new comer" as root beers go. The actual road extends from Chicago, IL to Santa Monica, CA and carries quite a rich history and tradion. Route 66 makes itself available in all the states this road goes through as kind of a tribute or whatever. Do you care? Me neither. I grew up right outside a little stretch of Route 66 in Northern Arizona, and i could care less about it. Route 66 has a big pull and a lot of people came through my town just to see it. They were subsiquently fleeced by our local shops for all the garbage they peddled. I have seen more Route 66 tourist crap than one guy can handle. Post cards, shot glasses, t-shirts, bumper stickers, playing cards, etc etc. This just seems like another attempt to capitalize on the "brand".

The bottle is standard and the label has the oh so familiar road sign icon with "Route Beer 66" written on it, which i will give them credit for. It was clever. And then their take on the famous tagline made famous by the song, "get your kicks with Route 66 Beer" is across the bottom of the label, something i was more than expecting to find somewhere on the bottle. Whatever. Let's get down to the nuts and bolts of the situation, shall we?

It's bad. Really bad. I don't like it at all. I had a hard time trying to decide what it really tastes like. My wife kept insisting that it tastes like "morning breath", which is a fair description. However, i quickly reminded her that this is "Cosmo's Root Beer Reviews" and not "Jenn's Root Beer Reviews". Now, i love my wife, but i think all guys can agree that you need to put them in there place once in a while or else they'll try and rise up to take control of the situation. Well no one puts Baby in a corner. So i'm happy to say the situation was quickly handled (point for me). But back to the review. What this awful root beer really tastes like is fruit that is just one or two days past being good and has started to ferment a little. It's like rotten fruit. My wife suggested peaches, to be specific, which seems fair enough to me.

My official review is that Route 66 gets 1 (one) IBC. I still hate Weinhard's more, specifically because of it's retarded fan base, which makes me scared to ever meet a Route 66 fan. What kind of argument could they have? This stuff is just plain bad. Fan of the road or not, this stuff sucks.

Barrel Brothers' Root Beer

This one will be pretty quick and clean. Barrel Brothers comes to us from the makers of Apple Beer. In the 1960's, Apple Beer began producing their signature drink in none other than Salt Lake City, UT. It later began producing Barrell Brothers, though the dates are not clear. But as far as i can see, these are the only two drinks the company makes.

The bottle is your regular standard 12 oz.er as far as size goes. The label is kinda fun. It has a little cartoon of two crazy brothers in barrells, with silly hats, big teeth, and mugs of root beer. How cheery.

Right on the bottle it says "creamy vanilla", which kinda spoils the surprise of it. But outside of that, there's not much to say about this one. It's good. Nothing wrong with it for sure. But nothing to set it apart from others. The fact that it has a nice vanilla flavor to it may or may not appeal to some people. I for one found it enjoyable. But regardless, it's still a good, stand alone root beer.

My official review is that Barrel Brothers gets 6 (six) IBCs. I was initially going to give this a 5 because it's kinda middle of the road, but thinking about it i think it's better than a 5. It's good and i enjoyed it. So no complaints here.

Iron Horse Root Beer

This has to be one of the most elusive root beers i have tried to research. I can usually pull up something off the internet about each one, but the only info i can get about this one is right off the bottle. I couldn't find a website at all, and even other websites that sell Iron Horse have very little to say about the company itself. Iron Horse Root Beer is bottled in Edina, MN. That's about all i can tell you. It's a shame too, cuz this one is a gem.

First, i totally dig the bottle. It's a little more short and stout than traditional bottles. for some reason i just like that. It looks more sturdy. I don't know. I'm lame. Anyway, as you can see on the label, it proudly displays a locomotive, or "iron horse". Get it? Clever, right? It's bold, it's simple, and it's direct. I like it.

One down side i found was on one of the sites that distributes the soda. It has Iron Horse listed for $8.29 for a 6-pack. OUCH! However, 1) that is the internet, and 2) you can also order a 24-pack for only $30 (plus tax & shipping). so it looks like bulk is the way to go if you plan on ordering some. It very well may be cheaper in grocery stores locally, but i just don't know which ones would sell it. So that might be a crap shoot.

But let's talk taste. Wow... this stuff is good. In fact, those were my exact words after my first taste. It's rich, bold, and has a strong carmel taste to it. I was immediately impressed with it. If that were the only price you could find it for, it would be worth it.

Now look... i know i have been pretty harsh on you Weinhard's fans. Mostly because you've boughten into the lie and are completely retarded. But let me be completely frank with you for just a moment and extend an olive branch to you.

(real quick, that link is for two reasons. 1. I love Webster.com. It's great. 2. being a Weinhard's fan, you're clearly too stupid to understand what that gesture means.)

Ok, but really, hear me out. I have read the reviews in favor of Weinhard's, and they will often say things like "smooth", "bold", "creamy", etc. Well guess what, this root beer is all of those things as well. I have had Weinhard's before, and really, i think this tastes a lot like Weinhard's except it's not sticky/sickly sweet and candy corn flavored. I think this would be an easy transition for you to break away from the awful, evil grasp Weinhard's has on your judgement. All you would need to do is finally admit that it is TOO sweet and tastes like candy corn, and then swear off Weinhard's for good and begin enjoying real root beer without being under Weinhard's tyranny. I'm serious. You can do this, and i'm here to help.

My official review is that Iron Horse gets 9 (nine) IBCs. I mean it when i say i'm a fan of this stuff. It's not messing around. These guys keep it simple and know what they're doing. It's very good from start to finish. Of course, IBC is still better by leagues, but really... this is as close as any other root beer is going to get.

Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

Alright! Now that's how you name a root beer! I can appreciate this root beer based on the name and the bottle alone, but how does it measure up? We'll have to see. This is another soft drink that is distributed through Real Soda, although there is a different site listed on the bottle. However this site seemed of little use to me and the domain is currently up for sale. So again, i am not sure how long JBDR has been around or when/where it was started. The bottle does say though that this is the "second time available in 416 years", so... you know. Do the math.

First and foremost, it seems to me purely coincidental that this root beer shares the name of a prominent comedic actor today. But the bottle is pretty cool lookin'. It's clearly decked out with a pirate skull and some swash buckling swords and all that good pirate gear, as well as a twist on an old 50's commie bashing slang printed right on the label: "Better to be Dead Red than just plain dead!" So it's got the whole pirate effect going, and can be considered a suitable Halloween season drink with it's references to death and carnage. Looking at the ingredients, it contains Red #40. Now i didn't really pay attention to it at the time and just drank it straight from the bottle, but i think i need to get it again to confirm whether or not the root beer itself is indeed red in color. That would be fairly intriguing, right? Dead Red is actually red? So far, this thing has a lot going for it, and we haven't even tasted it yet.

As far as taste goes, it's good. I would even say very good. But here's were it throws you, and this is undeniable... it tastes like pumpkin cookies. WHAT? Where did that come from? Beats me, but it's heavy on the nutmeg. So here's my beef; i'm sitting here enjoying the persona this beverage is clearly throwing off, like it's got pheromones that are giving me pirate fever (careful... no butt pirate jokes here), but while i'm drinking it, all i can think of is pumpkin cookies and Christmas carols. How contradictory is that? I want a mean, dirty tasting drink, like it was brewed in a pirates boot, or hollow peg leg. Whatever. But it tastes like my mommy made a Christmas Eve snack to leave for Santa. It's the weirdest thing, and all i can say is you gotta try it to understand what i mean.

My official review is that JBDR gets 6 (six) IBCs. I struggled with this one, because it's good. Very good. But it's not a pirate drink, and like pumpkin cookies, i can't have a lot of these one after another. They are rich, and i don't exaggerate when i say it is very heavy on the nutmeg. So it only gets a decent rating and is relegated to the realm of the confused and misunderstood, like transsexuals and Jehovah's Witnesses (not that they have any correlation). Anyway, i think you get what i mean, but if you get a chance, give this stuff a shot. It's good.

i hear those sleigh bells ringing, a jing jing jingling too... come on it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you.

Addendum: I seem to be making a lot of revisions to my reviews lately, but i think this one so far is the most worth mentioning. I was at the Pop Shop looking for new root beers, and i found this bottle of JBDR. All i can say is it's awesome. It just adds so much to the persona of the drink. These stubby 12 oz. bottles remind me of Red Stripe, which comes from Jamaica. Where is Jamaica located? In the Caribbean Sea, like the pirate movies. I think it's more than purely coincidental, but hey... if it works, i say rip it off. I was very impressed with this move, so much so that i would say as long as you are drinking JBDR out of one of these bottles, i'll give it a 7 IBC rating. That's right, i just bumped it up.

Good work JBDR.

Boylan Root Beer

This is the last kind of root beer we sampled while in NY. Boylan Bottling Company is a New Jersey based bottling company that has been around since 1891. They pride themselves on being a family run business for over a century, as well they should. Good for you Boylan. They too make several kinds of soda, but again, the root beer was all i was interested in.

Another typical bottle, nothing super special about the label. It has a sort of retro look to it as well. Maybe it's something with east coast companies or NY or small time or whatever, but these bottles were also sold in 4-packs instead of 6-packs for about $5.50. It's not super cheap, but it was convenient that there were four of us, so it was a good fit.

The taste was a little perplexing. Not bad, but not at all root beer. It would be like buying a gallon of milk that tastes like orange juice. And by now i realize that root beer can have many different themes and flavors associated with it, but this stuff tasted like straight black licorice with a kind of cotton candy after taste. I am not really a fan or black licorice or cotton candy, but i am a fan of root beer. That's what had me confused. I'm not sure how they can call this root beer. It tasted nothing like it. I do give them credit though because the bottle says it's kosher, so to any of my numerous Jewish readers, i recommend this non-root beer drink.

My official review is that Boylan's gets 4 (four) IBCs. Not what i expected. Again, it wasn't bad for a soda whose primary flavors i don't care for in the first place. But come on, when i buy a root beer, i want a root beer. You'll have to see for yourself i guess.

Johnnie Ryan's Root Beer

So here is another root beer we tried out in New York. Buffalo is right next to Niagra Falls, where Johnnie Ryan Bottling Company is located. It was started in 1935 and seems like a small time distributor. Johnnie Ryan comes in several flavors, but the only one i tried was the root beer. I can probably tell you what the rest of them taste like though without ever drinking them...

(p.s. this post will probably be pretty short)

The bottle is kinda cool. It has a very retro 50's design and feel to it, lots of fancy script and fonts to look at. It definitely caught my attention in the local grocery store. We were in NY, so i overlooked the fact that it was about $5.50 and came in a 4-pack. Everything else about it made me excited to give it a try.

I don't know how well you can read my tone in this post, but i'll just jump right to the chase; it wasn't good. It had hardly any carbination in it and about as much taste as a stick of Juicy Fruit after you've chewed it for 10 minutes. Extremely bland, no kick or even any real taste. I might as well have been drinking brown water. Sorry Johnnie Ryan, but i think you need to rethink this one.

My official review is that Johnnie Ryan's gets 2 (two) IBCs. Seriously, the only thing keeping this thing from a 1 is the fact that it didn't make me ralph, it just had no effect on me. No wow, no appeal, no reason to waste your time or money.